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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should Consumer Spending on Travel (US $ Billion)

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should Consumer Spending on Travel (US $ Billion)
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The bar chart illustrates the rate of customers from ten distinct nations who
are spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 the highest amounts on travel in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that China's expenditure on travel is the highest,
while
Linking Words
 Taiwan's expenditure is the lowest. It is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy that several states' expenses are identical.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 five countries transfer
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 amount than the other five. Specifically, China,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States, Germany,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, and Singapore are included
on
Change preposition
in
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this
Linking Words
 category, amounting
for
Change preposition
to
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 slightly above $100
billion
Use synonyms
, $82
billion
Use synonyms
, $82
billion
Use synonyms
, just under $60
billion
Use synonyms
, and slightly above $20
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Whereas
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 the rest of the list
such
Linking Words
 as Hongkong, South Korea, India, Malaysia, and Taiwan are ranked at the bottom, with $20
billion
Use synonyms
, $20
billion
Use synonyms
, just under $20
billion
Use synonyms
, nearly $20
billion
Use synonyms
, and $10
billion
Use synonyms
 each.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 important that customers' expenses
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries are similar. Specifically, Germany and US
totaled
Change the spelling
totalled
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 the same
as well as
Linking Words
 Hongkong and South Korea.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • spending
  • travel budgets
  • ranking
  • economy
  • consumer behavior
  • significant
  • notable
  • comparative analysis
  • patterns
  • habits
  • implications
  • spending habits
  • highest
  • highest-ranked
  • total expenditure
  • top-tier
  • lower-tier
  • economic status
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