IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There are plans to build a new factory in Parkland near where you live. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter: -Give reasons why you are against the plan; -Explain why the parkland should stay; -Suggest what action the council should take;

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Dear Sir, My name is Shiv. I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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resident
Correct article usage
a resident
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 of Brampton
from
Change preposition
for
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 the
last
Linking Words
 five years. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that I am not in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favour of
build
Change the verb form
building
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 a factory
on
Change preposition
in
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 the place of parkland which is near
to
Change preposition
apply
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my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Parkland is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial place
of
Change preposition
in
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 the area because it provides beautiful
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 to people, who stay near
to
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 place.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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 will
increases
Change the verb form
increase
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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noise pollution, which
puts
Verb problem
has
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bad
Add an article
a bad
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 effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
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 health.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 community use
this
Linking Words
 Parkland for their social interaction on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 weekly basis. Not only
this
Linking Words
, children and adults use trails for their walks and cycling activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the plants and trees provide fresh air to the community. Would you be kind enough to look into
this
Linking Words
 matter? There are some
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 which can
helpful
Replace the word
help
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 to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Such
Linking Words
 as
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
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 the factory location near to the mall because their council has enough space.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, Please provide some time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local people to understand the situation. Hoping for a positive response from your side. Your's Faithfully, Shiv.

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Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples to strengthen your arguments against the factory and enhance the emotional appeal of your letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to create clearer links between your ideas to improve the overall flow of your letter. Using more cohesive devices can help with this.
Task Achievement
The letter has a clear purpose and addresses the topic appropriately, making your position on the factory plan evident.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included several important points about the value of the parkland, showing your concern for the community.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • wildlife
  • disrupt
  • quality of life
  • green space
  • recreation
  • community activities
  • wellbeing
  • property values
  • investment
  • neighborhood
  • community engagement
  • sustainable development
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