IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people say that they only live once and will spend all the
money
Use synonyms
 right away after earning it. In my opinion, I believe that saving
money
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 for your own future is a beneficial idea, especially if you are a young person. From a young age,
money
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 management should be taught at schools. The
knowledge
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 saving
money
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 and putting it into a cycle is important.
Such
Linking Words
 as accumulating
money
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 in
savings
Add an article
a savings
show examples
 account or buying a trending stock. Giving out
such
Linking Words
 information at schools will greatly benefit the lives of students in the long run.
For example
Linking Words
, if students start to save up
$
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to $
show examples
5
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 from their pocket
money
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, it could be saved up to $40’000 in just 5 years. If we imagine
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
saving up
money
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while
Linking Words
consistenly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 putting
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fixed amount into stocks
while
Linking Words
 you are young. It will give a real financial freedom when the child reaches 20.
Also
Linking Words
, among
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
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 adults the lack of insight on financial responsibility has become a great disadvantage.
This
Linking Words
 issue clearly is tied to their generation’s educational system.
In addition
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, there was a case study, where they took
survey
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a survey
the survey
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 on whether the participants had
knowledge
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on
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of
show examples
money
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 management. Surprisingly, 60
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of them answered as having no idea
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to save up.
Moreover
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, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 25
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of the respondents
admitting
Wrong verb form
admitted
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 to
have
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having
show examples
 failed at starting a business,
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of financial
knowledge
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. In conclusion, it is important for everyone, including young people, to save
money
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 for their future and have sufficient
knowledge
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 on putting the cash into a smarter investment.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas logically flow from one to the next. For example, while your examples are relevant, consider explicitly linking them back to your main argument about the importance of saving.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with additional examples or explanations. This can make your argument stronger and help clarify your ideas for the reader.
language accuracy
Check for grammar and spelling errors, such as 'consistenly' which should be 'consistently', as these small inaccuracies can distract from your overall message.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and provide relevant examples to support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion nicely frame your argument and clearly restate the importance of saving for the future.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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