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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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These days,
youngs
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young
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 are inclined to travel around the world or
work
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 for a period from graduating high
school
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 to starting
university
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.
Moreover
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, it may have some disadvantages,
such
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 as wasting time
while
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 young people of their age have already started
university
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, and
also
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 they might forget their basic knowledge of high
school
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 before getting into a college.
However
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, there are several benefits, including that you can gain
work
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 experience and
also
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 can discover new places or become acquainted with new foreign cultures. On the one hand, high
school
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 knowledge is the main base of
university
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, most notably mathematics, physics, and chemistry, depending on your major;
thus
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, 1 year of working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 may cause you to forget about your previous subjects.
Furthermore
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, most students regret after capering 1 year, owing to the fact that when you are still learning, your age people will already have gotten into the workplace and taken steps to
life
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live
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.
On the other hand
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, working for a year between ending high
school
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 and starting
university
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 has a significant impact on your
work
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 experience.
For example
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, you would know how
the
Correct article usage
a
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 real job works by enhancing your job skills and
also
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 understand the value of money more and earlier, and it will be a great opportunity to apply for a job.
In addition
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, when you are young and fit, it is advantageous to travel to other countries.
For instance
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, it will open your eyes and change the way you see the world, and you will meet a number of new people and get to know many cultures. In conclusion, working or
traveling
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travelling
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 between finishing high
school
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 and starting
university
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 might lead you to a time sink and a loss of foundational knowledge from high
school
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;
however
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, it can affect the way you see and
also
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 you will learn
emerging
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about emerging
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 cultures from other countries, and
additionally
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, accumulate worthy
work
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 experiences.

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Consider improving the introduction by clearly stating your opinion on the topic, as it helps set the stage for your argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, which will improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant arguments and examples related to the topic, which enhances the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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