IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The graph about the stock price of four technology companies between 2011 and 2016 summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The line graph of the streets information about different American technology, corporate
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
show examples
stock
Use synonyms
 expenses between 2011 and 2016 which
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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am
Facebook
Use synonyms
 google Apple and Yahoo It could be clearly upset from the chart that Apple company had some fluctuation in the stand.
Facebook
Use synonyms
 was slightly increased
in
Change preposition
at
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end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the period googled trend had no change in
this
Linking Words
 chart Open the one hand,
Apple
Change noun form
Apple's
show examples
 figures started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around $5000 in 2011 and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 rapidly increased to $35,000 in 2012
this
Linking Words
 was the highest price
stock
Use synonyms
 in 2012 .
However
Linking Words
, in 2016, it was dropped to $6000.
Moreover
Linking Words
 started with beginning
Use synonyms
Facebook
Change noun form
Facebook's
show examples
stock
Use synonyms
 price
for
Change preposition
of
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 $8000 for the mall in 2014
Facebook
Use synonyms
 kept the highest value
stock
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period
Use synonyms
Facebook
Change noun form
Facebook's
show examples
 figures reached a peak
about
Change preposition
of about
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 $20,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 in 2011 yeah
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
stock
Use synonyms
 price was $8000
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle of the period yahoos train cost was approximately $3500 in 2016 yeah, I was
Use synonyms
stock
Correct your spelling
stuck
show examples
 was the second lowest cost
stock
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 the trend
as well as
Linking Words
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 is no change in, google from the beginning to end

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coherence and cohesion
Increase clarity by ensuring your main points are presented more logically and organized. Use separate paragraphs for different points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific data or comparisons in your explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors and unclear terms that might confuse the reader. Proofreading your work would help.
task achievement
You have attempted to include data from the graph to support your points, which is a good strategy for answering the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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