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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can govemet and individuals take to tackle the issue.

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In recent days, global warming
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 one of the most important difficulties that the earth is experiencing. It is happening because the production of rubbish is increasing annually.
Subsequently
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, the authorities and individuals can play their part in distinct ways.
To begin
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 with, the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 numbers of waste
productions
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production
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 are influencing the global temperature on a year-to-year basis. It is happening
due to
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 an increasing
manufacturers
Correct quantifier usage
number of manufacturers
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 who
manufactured
Wrong verb form
manufacture
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 plastic-bottled goods.
Furthermore
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,
such
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tendecies
Correct your spelling
tendencies
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 caused by customers' behaviour that consume more plastic things each year.
For instance
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, the high demand
of
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for
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 plastic-bottled drinks
are
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is
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 encouraging several companies to produce more products,
while
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 the community members are ignoring the long-term effects that
such
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 actions can deliver.
Thus
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,
Correct article usage
the productions
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productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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 and
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people are affecting the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
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 temperatures gradually.
Secondly
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, everyone should be responsible
to
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for
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this
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 phenomenon as each party play a vital role in order to reduce the future impacts of the problem.
Moreover
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, the citizens and the authorities can contribute
on
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in
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 their
on
Correct your spelling
own
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 ways.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 noteworthy that a
comprehesive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 approach is more effective than a
single party
Add a hyphen
single-party
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 approach.
For example
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, the government can make some policies regarding the limit of companies' operations,
whereas
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 the citizens can purchase things that have eco-friendly labels.
Hence
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, the combination of
right
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the right
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 policy and alternative
option
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options
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 offer
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
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 future for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
To sum up
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, the inclining totals of waste
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 are affecting the
earth
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earth's
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 condition.
Additionally
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, a collaboration between the government and folks can be
potential
Correct word choice
beneficial
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 in order to eliminate the problem gradually.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the issue of global warming, but try to improve the clarity and coherence of your statements. Be careful with word choice and phrasing.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will enhance the overall clarity of your argument.
grammar and mechanics
Ensure proper grammar and spelling to improve readability. For instance, 'govemet' should be 'government', and 'tendecies' should be 'tendencies'.
task achievement
You successfully identified key causes of global warming and offered measures that both individuals and governments can take to tackle the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the problem.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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