IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Study abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this is in mind, it is more advantages to study at home. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern
eon
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aeon
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, Education plays a crucial role in human
beings
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beings'
being's
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 life. Some people
ought
Verb problem
think
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 that studying abroad has
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
students
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,
while
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 others think that studying at home has
positive
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a positive
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 effect on youngsters.
This
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 essay intends to elaborate
the
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on the
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 reasons why I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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 with the notion
of
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that
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studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 overseas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 benefits, in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraph. To
intiate
Correct your spelling
initiate
, there are numerous benefits for
students
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 who are going overseas
for
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to
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study
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.
First
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The first
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 and foremost effect is communication
skill
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skills
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. It will help to boost confidence in
students
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 when they
will
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apply
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communicate with other foreigners and they can
change
Verb problem
exchange
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 ideas with each other
as well as
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 it is
a
Rephrase
also a
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good source to gain knowledge in different fields, so
students
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 can start
business
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a business
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new plan in their own country.
Moreover
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, tradition and culture can help the younger
student
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students
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 to adapt knowledge regarding how to treat
with
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apply
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the
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apply
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other
culture
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cultures
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 people.
On the other hand
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,
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 at home has
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 effect on
students
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 because they cannot explore
the
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apply
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other countries
and
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apply
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they do not know what is going
in
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on in
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 the other countries
as well
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as
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and
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 they cannot exchange ideas with different cultural people.
Furthermore
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, they have less confidence and they cannot survive in the difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 which other
students
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 have faced
in
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apply
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the
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apply
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abroad
such
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 as doing part-time and full-time
job
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jobs
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 and
manage
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managing
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 time for
study
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 and
cook
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cooking
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 food for themselves because
in
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apply
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the
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apply
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foreign
students
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 will become
self- dependent
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self-dependent
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.
To conclude
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, it can be inferred from the above confabulation that
although
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 there are abundant
of
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apply
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cons of
students
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 who are doing
study
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 at home because
students
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 can gain knowledge of different culture and develop communication skills who are going overseas for
study
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is somewhat unclear, and the phrasing could be improved for better clarity. Aim to clearly outline your thesis statement and the main arguments you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
While your paragraphs contain relevant ideas, the transition between points could be smoother. Use linking words or phrases to aid the flow of the essay and connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar errors. Words like 'studing' should be 'studying', and phrases such as 'abundant of cons' should be adjusted to 'abundance of cons'. This will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the main advantages of studying abroad, such as improved communication skills and cultural exchange. This shows that you understand the topic and can provide relevant arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • cultural exposure
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • language acquisition
  • global job market
  • motivation
  • networking opportunities
  • culture shock
  • homesickness
  • academic pressure
  • financial constraints
  • support networks
  • mental health
What to do next:
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