IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, some
individuals
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 believe that
professionals
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such
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 as doctors and engineers should be required to
work
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 in the
country
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 where they completed their training. Others argue that they should have the freedom to choose where they wish to
work
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, whether in their home
country
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 or abroad.
While
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 retaining skilled
professionals
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 benefits a
country
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, I believe that
individuals
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 should have the right to decide their career path.
To begin
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 with, many believe that
professionals
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 who receive education and training in their home
country
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 should contribute to its workforce.
This
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 is particularly relevant for fields like medicine, where students often receive financial support from the government in the form of scholarships or subsidized tuition fees.
As a result
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, they may be obligated to
work
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 in their
country
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 for a certain period after graduation.
For example
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, in Thailand, medical students funded by the government are required to serve in designated hospitals, especially in rural areas, to address healthcare shortages.
This
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 policy ensures that the
country
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 benefits from the investment made in their education.
On the other hand
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,
professionals
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 should have the freedom to choose where they
work
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, as
this
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 is a fundamental right. Some
individuals
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 invest their own money in private or prestigious institutions to secure better opportunities after graduation.
Additionally
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, working in another
country
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 allows
professionals
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 to gain international experience, broaden their perspectives, and access higher salaries, particularly in developed nations.
This
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 not only benefits the individual but can
also
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 lead to knowledge transfer if they later return to their home
country
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 with enhanced expertise. In conclusion,
while
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 it is reasonable for governments to require
professionals
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 to serve their
country
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 if they
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
 financial support, I believe that
individuals
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 should ultimately have the freedom to choose where they
work
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. Policies should balance national interests with personal career aspirations to ensure a fair and sustainable approach.

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task achievement
Consider providing a slightly more detailed explanation of the balance between government interest and personal choice. This could better illustrate your perspective on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the transitions between your paragraphs for smoother reading. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the case of Thailand's medical students, adds strength to your argument and meets the requirement for specific evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the two views and presents your position, which sets a solid foundation for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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