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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie charts show how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie charts show how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
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The two charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about a survey of adult education. The bar chart illustrates the reasons for their decision, and the pie chart compares how respondents believe education costs should be distributed.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 interest in
subject
Add an article
the subject
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 percentage than other reasons, and especially
this
Linking Words
 difference is illustrated in the reason to meet people. We can
also
Linking Words
 see that the
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 percentage of all
respondents
Change noun form
respondent's
respondents'
show examples
 voices was given for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual pay. The proportion of voices who decided to study
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to interest in
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
 and gain qualifications considerably more than other reasons and account for 40% and 38%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, a small minority of adults chose the opportunity to change jobs (12 %) and get to know people (9%). The
two time
Add a hyphen
two-time
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 higher interviewers voted for improving prospects of promotion,
helpful
Add a missing verb
being helpful
show examples
 for
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 job and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
 learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the costs of these courses were shared between three categories of payment. The higher proportion was individuals believed that they should finance their own education 40%.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 few lower percentages were given for
Correct article usage
the employer’
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employer’
Change noun form
employer’s
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 (35%). The taxpayer was significantly less than other categories 25%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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