IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this?What can be done to solve the problem?

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Choosing
Use synonyms
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 modules
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 important task for every
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freshmen
Change to a singular noun
freshman
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 who are going to
college
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 for study,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 it will
put
Verb problem
have
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 a negative impact on his/her
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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personal and professional life.
This
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 essay intends to elaborate on the reasons why students are unable to choose
Use synonyms
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 subjects in some colleges, in the upcoming paragraph. To initiate, some
freshmen
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could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 decide to choose
a
Correct article usage
the
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right
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subject
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 because they are coming from high school to
college
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 and they
took
Verb problem
are
show examples
admission
Replace the word
admitted
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 under the pressure of parents
as well as
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have no basic knowledge about that course
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in
Change preposition
apply
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some colleges provide
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
advanced
level
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 books, which are not easy for beginners.
Moreover
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,
second
Add an article
the second
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 reason is cultural difference. High
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 provide a proper timetable and unit to
stidents
Correct your spelling
students
, but in
college
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,
freshmen
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 have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to opt correct timetable and
subject
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, so they can manage their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, every lock
have
Change the verb form
has
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key
Add an article
the key
a key
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, so
evey
Correct your spelling
every
 problem
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 solutions.
First,
Linking Words
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college
Correct article usage
the college
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 should edit
video
Correct article usage
the video
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 of every unit, so
freshmen
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 can choose
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right
Add an article
the right
a right
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subject
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as well
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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every
college
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 should organize
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 orientation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will help the students
to
Verb problem
apply
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gain knowledge about the
college
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 and
subject
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, which they
opt
Verb problem
choose
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.
For instance
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, a survey
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 conducted in London in 2023, which shows that 25% of
freshmen
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are getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fail in first year exam because they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not understand
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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level
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 subjects.
Due to
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this
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 reason, teachers should start from
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
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level
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, so
freshmen
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 can easily understand all
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
.
To conclude
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, it can be inferred from the above confabulation that
although
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 there are abundant
demrit
Correct your spelling
demerit
 of
this
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 issue. Some of the solutions
such
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 as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a video of every
subject
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, orientation and
begin
Wrong verb form
beginning
show examples
 from
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
level
Use synonyms
, have been suggested to control
this
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 problem as soon as possible.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it would have
Correct article usage
a deterimental
show examples
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effect on the
freshmen
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a clearer manner. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by evidence or examples. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made in your essay addresses the task fully. Make sure to clearly outline the causes and solutions in separate paragraphs and explicitly link them.
grammatical accuracy
Attempt to minimize grammatical and spelling errors in your writing, as they can distract the reader and impact clarity.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a clear attempt to address both causes and solutions to the problem, which is essential for a balanced task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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