IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is a lot of difference in
people
Use synonyms
's behaviour.
Although
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 many
people
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 are in favour of trying new things, others prefer to keep doing the same things.
This
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 essay will discuss that new experiences open avenues of opportunities
while
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 opting for the same routines helps to enjoy comfort zone. In my perspective, working on new ideas brings prosperity to our lives. On the one hand, new experiences provide an enormous amount of opportunities.
First,
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these boost our career growth.
Then
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, improves the financial condition of both the individual and society.
For instance
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, with the advancement in technology, today
people
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 have numerous options like freelancing and e-commerce which they use to provide their services and products to international markets and clients as a return they not only build their careers and businesses but
also
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 earn in dollars.
Thus
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, adopting new trends is highly beneficial.
On the other hand
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, being monotonous helps to enjoy life within the comfort zone. Most humans can not afford risk in their lives as they do not have strong family backgrounds.
For example
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, all those who work from 9 to 5, mostly have job security which helps them to set a proper routine for a longer time period. In
this
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 way, they have better knowledge of their earnings and expenditures which they can align with each other to live a happy life.
Hence
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,
people
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 are quite happy if they follow a certain routine. In conclusion, despite the fact that growth highly depends on considering new ideas, many
people
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 intentionally follow the same routine to counter risk in their lives.
According to
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 me, to achieve success
people
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 should try new things.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. While you provided an example about freelancing and e-commerce, providing a personal anecdote or another specific instance could enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear central idea that ties back to your thesis. Your ideas are generally well-structured, but some points could use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more to improve fluency. This can help engage the reader and enhance the overall flow of your writing.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the discussion.
content
You provide a relevant discussion of both sides of the topic which showcases a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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