IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is no longer necessary that animals should be slaughtered and made into either human foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs, such as fur and medicine. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that in
this
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 era of humanities, life become more convenient than ever. Certain studies recently say
animals
Use synonyms
 are not essential in life's people,
such
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 as human foodstuffs or sources of fur and medicine. From
this
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 perspective,
animals
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 play a crucial role on the earth in accomplishing balance. Ergo,
this
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 essay will highlight
this
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 phenomenon, and I
also
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 mention several benefits of
animals
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, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, there is no denying that wildlife plays an essential role in humanity's lives. What is more, individuals cannot live without
this
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 source because these creatures have a variety of profits in their meat, fur, and medicine. To illustrate more, a report by the UNESCO survey showed that 90% of residents eat meat approximately three times a week which means they depend on
this
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 creature around 95 per cent annually.
Thus
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, outcomes of
this
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 situation cause physical health.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous positive impacts which directly linked to alarming cases. The first and foremost advantage is the public interest in
animals
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 from different sources. To demonstrate more, more and more people use their fur to make efficient furniture not only that but
also
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 to make medicine.
Moreover
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, later a study conducted by the University of Nizwa in 2023 indicated that scientists produce large fractions of drugs from snakes and bees which are used in a variety of hospitals and clinics. As a sequence, these sources could definitely improve
this
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 condition. In conclusion, no doubt in
this
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 era of neck-to-neck competition, wildlife is a vital creature on the earth which others use for eating and treatment.
Furthermore
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, I disagree that
animals
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 are not necessarily used as foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs.
Therefore
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, these could lessened by the government and citizens.

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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Try to make it more direct and assertive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and make sure all your points connect back to the thesis statement.
Task Response
While examples are provided, they could be more relevant or detailed, directly supporting your main points. Consider elaborating on the examples to strengthen your arguments.
Content
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which is commendable and shows an understanding of the topic.
Examples
Good use of statistics and references, such as the UNESCO report, which can enhance the credibility of your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • slaughter
  • human foodstuffs
  • non-foodstuffs
  • fur
  • medicine
  • alternative protein sources
  • plant-based
  • lab-grown meat
  • ethical considerations
  • animal rights
  • welfare
  • cruelty-free
  • environmental impact
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • deforestation
  • synthetic materials
  • plant-derived alternatives
  • fashion industry
  • cosmetics industry
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