IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some argue that schools should prioritise life skills such as working in a teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people believe that schools should focus more on teaching
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 like teamwork and problem-solving, rather than only traditional
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as math or history. I agree to a large extent because
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 are very useful in the real world, but I
also
Linking Words
 think academic knowledge should not be ignored. On the one hand,
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 are necessary for almost every career. In the workplace, people usually have to work in teams and face different kinds of problems. If
students
Use synonyms
 learn how to communicate, cooperate, and find solutions in school, they will be better prepared for adult
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, doing group projects or planning events together can help
students
Use synonyms
 understand how teamwork works. These experiences
also
Linking Words
 improve confidence and leadership.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, traditional
subjects
Use synonyms
 are still important.
Subjects
Use synonyms
 like science, math, and languages help
students
Use synonyms
 build knowledge and develop thinking
skills
Use synonyms
. Without learning these
subjects
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 might struggle with basic things like calculating money, understanding health information, or reading and writing properly. Academic learning
also
Linking Words
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 get into universities and find good jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, schools should not choose one over the other. A balanced approach is best.
For instance
Linking Words
, teachers can use group work in science classes to teach both teamwork and academic content at the same time. In conclusion, I believe that
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 should be given more attention in schools, but academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 should still be a major part of education. A mix of both will help
students
Use synonyms
 succeed in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to strengthen your arguments; consider using statistics or quotes from experts where applicable.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas; you may use linking words to connect different points more effectively.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the issue, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have developed your ideas logically and presented a balanced view, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: