IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In today's fast-paced world, it is essential to have public
spaces
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 in urban and the countryside to promote social function, and physical activities
such
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 as sports and exercise, and to give
people
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 a place to relax and connect with nature. I strongly agree with the view that having large public
spaces
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 can yield a positive outcome for the physical and mental well-being of the community.
Firstly
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, urban areas are densely populated, and in the same way, rural side areas are getting denser over time. Given the hectic lifestyle and busy schedule of modern-day workers, it is essential for
people
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 to have
parks
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 and squares to enjoy and relax.
Moreover
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, there are many other benefits to having a public ground,
for example
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, organizing events, celebrating festivals, and hosting occasional public gatherings. Ultimately, these
spaces
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 provide opportunities for
people
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 to connect with their community and foster a sense of togetherness and unity among residents.
Secondly
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,
parks
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 and green
spaces
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 offer numerous benefits for mental and physical health. These serve as meeting points for
people
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 from diverse backgrounds, allowing them to engage in various activities.
For instance
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,
parks
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 provide an environmental place for recreational activities,
such
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 as picnics, sports, and group exercises, where individuals can spend their time socializing and forming lasting connections.
Additionally
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, exposure to sunlight and being in nature can boost serotonin levels, helping to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety.
To conclude
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, it is important to have outdoor public
spaces
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 like squares and
parks
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, which can be used for several purposes including sports, celebrations, and many more.
Overall
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, these
spaces
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 are beneficial for individuals' well-being.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly restates the prompt and outlines your main points. Consider adding a brief preview of the benefits you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas. Transition phrases can improve coherence.
Task Achievement
Although your points are generally well-supported, consider using more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance and logical reasoning, which helps in communicating your ideas effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each idea, contributing to its readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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