The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).

The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).
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The pie chart above
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
used
devices
Use synonyms
between
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
18-25, in
canda
Correct your spelling
Canada
for two different years 2009 and 2019. Starting with 2009,
this
Linking Words
range of age back in 2009
like
Replace the word
liked
show examples
to consume more Conventional
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
devices
Use synonyms
, with 34% and
this
Linking Words
is the highest percentage from the group.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
Laptops
show examples
have
popularty
Correct your spelling
popularity
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
with 20%
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
Tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
Tablets
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the lowest
consume
Replace the word
consumers
show examples
by just 5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2019 the taste of
this
Linking Words
range
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
group
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
rapidly, from 34% that used Conventional
TV
Use synonyms
back in 2009, to 8%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
know
Correct your spelling
now
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the lowest
useing
Correct your spelling
using
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
this
Linking Words
age group.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and Flat-screen
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
head in
consumeing
Correct your spelling
consumer
devices
Use synonyms
, with 26% and 27%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Tablet
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
significant increases in 2019 from just 5% in 2009 to 19% and the
thierd
Correct your spelling
third
useing
Correct your spelling
used
device
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
2019. In summary, we see
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
change in consumer taste
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
this
Linking Words
different two years, especially in Tablet and Conventional
TV
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
the use of Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and Flat-screen
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
rapidly to become the highest
useing
Correct your spelling
used
devices
Use synonyms
in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words devices, tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional television sets
  • mobile devices
  • technological advancements
  • streaming services
  • laptop and desktop computers
  • flexibility
  • multifunctionality
  • smart TVs
  • household routines
  • younger demographics
  • streaming sticks
  • gaming consoles
  • digital entertainment purposes
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