Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that many
countries
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, which have already increased in economic growth, still cannot make their civilians feel satisfied in these kinds of situations. In my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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statement because there are numerous reasons and other key factors to make
citizens
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unreachable.
Firstly
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, the equality of the population is still an obvious problem. Especially in developing
countries
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, they made a lot of income from only middle to high businesses. So, many
citizens
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who have high positions or executive levels will get a bunch of benefits from
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incident.
Although
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many
countries
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can make themselves rich from
this
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particular money, the government does not change it back to things that many
citizens
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should receive
such
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as laboured skill employees, homeless
people
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, facilities for poor families, and so on.
This
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is why
citizens
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remain struggling in these types of nations.
Furthermore
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, another issue is the distribution of wealth to all areas in each region. The government should decentralize the modern economy to cover all spaces.
In particular
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, they should support not only
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who live in the capital city or big regions but
also
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have to take care of
people
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who live in rural areas or remote provinces.
For example
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, some parts of America are lack of education and technologies.
Hence
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, the government has to improve and give academic encouragement to develop human resources and make them have a better life. In conclusion, the distribution of rich
countries
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to any scale of
citizens
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is key to making all
people
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feel happy and satisfied because it is worthless if that money cannot change the ways of living for
people
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in those
countries
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your stance more clearly in the introduction. A more detailed thesis statement would enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next; consider using transitional phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points further. This could include statistics or specific instances that illustrate your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear argument.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of ideas is logical, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
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