International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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As travelling
cost
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costs
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decline, many countries now
opened
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open
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their borders for
tourist
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tourists
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.
While
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this
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might be challenging
due to
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the probability of
increase
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an increase
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in crime rate and cultural influence, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, because of the economy and social benefits. On the one hand, people may argue that foreigners tend to commit more
crime
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crimes
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than the locals. which is because it would be difficult to identify them since their record is not in the
country
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, and
this
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can make the
country
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unsafe for citizens.
For instance
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,
an
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apply
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immigrants who commit
break
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breaking
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the law in a
country
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where their data are not recorded can hardly be located or might take
awhile
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a while
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, and
this
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can encourage people to travel with the aim of
commiting
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committing
an offence
,
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apply
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since their identity is
hiden
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hidden
.
Moreover
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,
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an increased
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increased
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increase
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in foreign travel can tamper with
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country's
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a country's
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culture,
such
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as food and way of life. A clear example of
this
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is the modern city of Birmingham, England. Which now has mixed cultural attires and food sold on the street, with different
dialet
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dialect
, rather than
english
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English
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spoken on the street. As
the
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a
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result, locals feel dominated in their
country
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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international
travelers
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travellers
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may have some negative influence on the residence of a
country
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, the advantages are higher. The primary benefit of foreign visitors is the boost in
host
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the host
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country
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country's
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economy. Recently, most immigrants travelled with the aim
schooling
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of schooling
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or tourism.
This
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often
generate
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generates
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revenue for the
country
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through taxation and school fees.
For example
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, research showed that international students pay higher fees
compare
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compared
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to their
residents
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resident's
residents'
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counterpart.
Morever
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Moreover
,
this
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can
increased
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increase
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multicultural
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the multicultural
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environment. Foreigners
spends
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spend
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more on apartments and hotels which positively
increase
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increases
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the national economic growth. In conclusion,
while
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foreign visitors might have some negative influence in a host
country
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through the
posible
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possible
rise in crime rate and alteration in their culture, I think the advantages outweigh the challenges,
due to
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ecomony
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economic
boost and
positively
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positive
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socialization.
However
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, a
balanced
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balance
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in the rate at which
foriegners
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foreigners
are allowed into a
country
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will help create a well-rounded safe environment for everyone.

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task achievement
The introduction is generally clear, but could be more specific regarding the argument you will be supporting. Expand on your thesis statement to reflect the key points that will be discussed in the essay more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use complete sentences and avoid fragments. For instance, 'which is because it would be difficult...' should be rephrased for clarity. Also, be cautious with the use of articles, like 'an immigrants.'
coherence and cohesion
In the second paragraph, ensure that transitions between ideas are clearer. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument more logically, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition.'
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammar errors as they can lead to misunderstandings; for example, 'ecomony' should be 'economy' and 'foriegners' should be 'foreigners.'
task achievement
You provided a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of international travel, which demonstrates critical thinking.
task achievement
Your examples show good understanding and relevance to the topic, especially regarding economic benefits of tourism and education.
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