IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
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The bar chart gives detailed information about
contribution
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the contribution
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 of three different sectors–agriculture,industry,and
sevices
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services
 to
Indian's
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India's
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 GDP over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 40 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
contribution
Correct article usage
the contribution
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 of
aagriculture
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agriculture
a agriculture
 depicted gradually, decline through the given
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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services
Use synonyms
 sector showed
steady
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a steady
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 increase.
Whereas
Linking Words
proportion
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the proportion
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 of
services
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 experienced moderate growth
whole
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while
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 the
period
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. Looking at
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, agriculture accounted for 60%
in
Change preposition
of
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Indian's
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India's
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 GDP in 1960. After that
period
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 agriculture
depicted
Verb problem
apply
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gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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to
Change preposition
from
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 over 50% to nearly 25% by 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
services
Correct article usage
the services
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 sector
by
Change preposition
apply
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which, accounted for less than 20% in 1960, underwent a dramatic expansion reaching nearly 60% by the end of the given
period
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, becoming the largest contributor.
While
Linking Words
, the industry sector witnessed a moderate increase, growing
approximately
Change preposition
from approximately
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 15% in 1960 to around 25 percent in 2000.
Although
Linking Words
 its growth was not
a
Correct your spelling
as
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 dramatic
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as
services
Use synonyms
, it still played an increasingly important role in
Indian's
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India's
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 economy.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "depicted" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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