IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some individuals argue that governments should allocate more funding to railways rather than roads due to the former's higher capacity for transporting goods and passengers. discuss both views

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, bureaucratic spending has become an integral part of modern life. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argued that the higher authorities should provide more finance to railways
instead
Linking Words
 of
roads
Use synonyms
 because of their capacity to move goods and population.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding with a balanced view. On the one hand, there are several key reasons why the railway has emerged as a significant problem. One key cause is that it is more cheaper and quicker means of
transport
Use synonyms
 for carrying goods and individuals, leading to improved
travel
Use synonyms
 time.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Western countries, where railway
transport
Use synonyms
 is more developed,
people
Use synonyms
 are making the rail their first preference to
travel
Use synonyms
 to distinct places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
roads
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 receive more funding from the government. One possible cause is trade, as most of the country's goods movement is done by the
roads
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia, most of the imports and exports are fulfilled with the assistance of
roads
Use synonyms
.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, individuals are always making road
transport
Use synonyms
 their priority to
travel
Use synonyms
 to nearby areas. There are still some areas in the world, where the rail network is not fully developed and
people
Use synonyms
 are relying on their own vehicles to commute. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the authority is allocating more money to railway
transport
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the capacity to carry enormous amounts of weight and cheaper means of transportation, I firmly believe, the government should not be ignored the
roads
Use synonyms
, which
people
Use synonyms
 are using to
travel
Use synonyms
 to close destinations. To maximize benefits
while
Linking Words
 reducing harm, individuals and policymakers should adopt a balanced approach.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction could be more clearly structured, and the thesis statement may need to explicitly mention the purpose of the essay and the specific perspectives being discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between the points in the body paragraphs. Some transitions could be clearer to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Make sure to support each main point with specific examples or statistics that are relevant to the argument. For instance, you could provide specific data or studies that highlight the effectiveness of rail vs. road transport.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the key points and presents a balanced viewpoint, which is a strong aspect of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funding
  • transportation infrastructure
  • higher capacity
  • efficiency
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • environmentally friendly
  • last mile connectivity
  • flexibility and convenience
  • individual travel
  • rail routes
  • maintaining infrastructure
  • upgrading networks
  • daily commuting
  • perishable goods
  • economic growth
  • regional development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: