IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There are more expensive for museums to be open to the public. What would be the best way to keep them open in your opinion?

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In
this
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 day and age,
museums
Use synonyms
 are getting less attention, and the number of tourists is gradually dwindling, making them more expensive to remain open to the public. From my point of view,
museums
Use synonyms
 are extremely essential for society, and the following essay is going to discuss possible solutions to preserve
museums
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. There are several methods to avoid closing
museums
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. First and foremost, the governments should provide financial aid for these buildings. Simply put,
although
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 most
museums
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 issue administration tickets for visitors, the main financial source to maintain their business and infrastructure is the government’s budget. Taking the Military Museum of Vietnam as an example,
this
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 place is free for all visitors, so the government’s budget needs to be employed to maintain the infrastructure and wartime relics there, specifically from the Ministry of Defense.
Furthermore
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,
museums
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 should have advertisement campaigns to capture the public’s attention.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that, by marketing their captivating features or creating special
tours
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 for tourists to immerse in the atmosphere, public spaces can receive a huge revenue stream from visitors through selling tickets and merchandise,
as well as
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 other services.
For instance
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, Hoa Lo Prison Relic creates night
tours
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 in which tourists can experience a short amount of time being held captive in a cell. These
tours
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 are extremely successful as the popularity of Hoa Lo increases exponentially, and the night
tours
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 are reportedly booked every weekend.
This
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also
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 encourages people to explore the history of their country. In conclusion, a museum can survive if it can receive attention from both the government and the public.
Thus
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,
along with
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 subsidies from the government, marketing campaigns should be held to attract
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 in order to preserve these locations.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed solutions or methods for keeping museums open, as this will enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words to effectively connect ideas, which will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant examples such as the Military Museum of Vietnam and Hoa Lo Prison Relic, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, with a solid introduction and conclusion.
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