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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart illustrates  the way Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 from a university
work
Use synonyms
 after getting their undergraduate degree,
while
Linking Words
 the tables
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 their
salaries
Use synonyms
 after 5 years'
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
graduates
Use synonyms
 worked full-time and least had part-time
work
Use synonyms
+postgraduate study. The highest
salaries
Use synonyms
 are observed in
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 sector whilst freelance consultants have
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
. To start, 52% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 had full-time
work
Use synonyms
, on the
opposite
Correct word choice
other
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 15% worked part-time.  12% of
antrhopology
Correct your spelling
anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 could not find any
work
Use synonyms
, at the same time 5% worked part-time and combined it with studying for
postgraduate
Add an article
a postgraduate
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 degree. The same percentage of individuals, particularly 8% had full-time postgraduate
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 and it is not known what
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 8% did. 5% of freelancers get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 salary between 25.000-49.999.
Although
Linking Words
 15% of freelance consultants gain 50.000-74.999, many of them earn more as 40% of them get 75.000-99.999 and above 100.000.  
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures for the individuals who
het
Correct your spelling
get
 under 50.000 and 75.000 in freelance and government fields
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the same, but most workers of government get 100.000
salaries
Use synonyms
, particularly 50% of them. In private companies indicators are not that high,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the biggest part of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 earns a salary of 50.000-74.999.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work, salaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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