Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

3.0 / 9

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Introduction

this

Linking Words

prevailing era, it is true that a large amount of sugar is added

Change preposition

show examples

edibles and

bevarages

Correct your spelling

beverages

beverage

products

Use synonyms

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

harmful

for

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show examples

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

. I wholeheartedly

accord

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

notion, making the

items

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more expensive can deter

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to eat

Change preposition

from eating

show examples

sugary

products

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Body paragraph 1

Commencing with the most salient reason why

products

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that include high

amount

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amounts

show examples

of sugar should not be cheaper is that some healthy

items

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are quite expensive as compared to unhealthy

products

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. So many individuals

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

buy the

products

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beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their cost.

For example

Linking Words

sugery

Correct your spelling

surgery

sugary

items

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cost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

$5 and healthy

items

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cost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

$9 in the market,

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people

Correct word choice

so people

show examples

are more likely to buy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

items

Use synonyms

that have sugar.

Body paragraph 2

The

another

Fix the agreement mistake

other

show examples

one is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most

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apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

buy sugary

products

Use synonyms

because of easy

accessibilty

Correct your spelling

accessibility

and cheap

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

. There are countless shops that display

sugery

Correct your spelling

surgery

items

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

reasonable

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

and

people

Use synonyms

become

curios

Correct your spelling

curious

show examples

to buy

Change preposition

about buying

show examples

them without any

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

. If

people

Use synonyms

have to pay direct and indirect taxes on these

items

Use synonyms

, they are less likely to buy the

products

Use synonyms

Conclusion

To conclude

Linking Words

, having

sugery

Correct your spelling

surgery

items

Use synonyms

more expensive can lead to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

popluarity

Correct your spelling

popularity

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

produts

Correct your spelling

product

products

because

thes

Correct your spelling

these

items

Use synonyms

are more expensive

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

healthy

items

Use synonyms

couple

Wrong verb form

coupled

show examples

with having more taxes can discourage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to purchase

Change preposition

from purchasing

show examples

thes

Correct your spelling

these

products

Use synonyms

rupindersamrow222

Mar 23, 2025

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language

Make sure to proofread your essay for punctuation and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'bevarages' should be 'beverages' and 'curios' should be 'curious'.

content

Expand on your ideas with examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence

Use more cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

coherence

Ensure to structure your conclusion more clearly, summarizing the main points made in the essay.

content

The introduction clearly states your stance on the issue, which is a good start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

214 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufactured food
high sugar content
health problems
sugary products
encourage consumption
deter
public health
obesity rates
healthier alternatives
nutritious
sugar tax
revenue
health initiatives
educational programs
public health campaigns
disproportionately
low-income individuals
subsidizing
accessibility
affordability

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree

You recently learned that a close friend of yours has had a baby, and you purchased a gift for the baby. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: Congratulate them on the arrival of the baby. Describe the gift you have chosen for the baby.

Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages four tourists who visit such places?