Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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prevailing era, it is true that a large amount of sugar is added
in
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to
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edibles and
bevarages
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beverages
beverage
products
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that
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is
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are
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harmful
for
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to
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health
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the health
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of every
individuals
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individual
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. I wholeheartedly
accord
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agree
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with
this
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notion, making the
items
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more expensive can deter
the
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apply
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people
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to eat
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from eating
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sugary
products
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. Commencing with the most salient reason why
products
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that include high
amount
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amounts
show examples
of sugar should not be cheaper is that some healthy
items
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are quite expensive as compared to unhealthy
products
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. So many individuals
are
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apply
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buy the
products
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beacuse
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because
of their cost.
For example
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,
sugery
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surgery
sugary
items
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cost
is
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apply
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$5 and healthy
items
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cost
is
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apply
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$9 in the market,
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people
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so people
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are more likely to buy
the
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apply
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items
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that have sugar. The
another
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other
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one is that
the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
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people
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buy sugary
products
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because of easy
accessibilty
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accessibility
and cheap
price
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prices
show examples
. There are countless shops that display
sugery
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surgery
items
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on
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at
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reasonable
price
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prices
show examples
and
people
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become
curios
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curious
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to buy
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about buying
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them without any
efforts
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effort
show examples
. If
people
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have to pay direct and indirect taxes on these
items
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, they are less likely to buy the
products
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.
To conclude
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, having
sugery
Correct your spelling
surgery
items
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more expensive can lead to
decrease
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a decrease
show examples
the
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in the
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popluarity
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popularity
of
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this
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these
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produts
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product
products
because
thes
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these
items
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are more expensive
Linking Words
then
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than
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healthy
items
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couple
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coupled
show examples
with having more taxes can discourage
the
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apply
show examples
people
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to purchase
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from purchasing
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thes
Correct your spelling
these
products
Use synonyms
.

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language
Make sure to proofread your essay for punctuation and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'bevarages' should be 'beverages' and 'curios' should be 'curious'.
content
Expand on your ideas with examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Use more cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence
Ensure to structure your conclusion more clearly, summarizing the main points made in the essay.
content
The introduction clearly states your stance on the issue, which is a good start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured food
  • high sugar content
  • health problems
  • sugary products
  • encourage consumption
  • deter
  • public health
  • obesity rates
  • healthier alternatives
  • nutritious
  • sugar tax
  • revenue
  • health initiatives
  • educational programs
  • public health campaigns
  • disproportionately
  • low-income individuals
  • subsidizing
  • accessibility
  • affordability
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