IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years the growth of large shopping malls
as
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has
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 been increasing which has led to the closure of small vendors.
While
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this
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 offers some advantages and significant drawbacks too.
This
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 essay will discuss both the pros and cons of the given statement, But I would say it is a positive trend.
Firstly
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, One of the major benefits of large shopping
centers
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centres
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 is convenience where people can buy their needs in one place as they offer all sections from grocery to clothing,
For example
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, Those industries offer, discounts where people can buy cheaper things compared to other stores, To describe monthly end sales, buy 1 get 1 so modern people are interested to visit those centres.
Moreover
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, cities are developed by industries like shopping malls, where they invest large chunks of money which develop the area.
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, they create employment within the place
as a result
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 unemployment shrinks down.
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 it is beneficial to the local public.
On the other hand
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, The drawback is it affects small vendors which affects families as mostly those are run by small groups, particularly local economies and communities.
although
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 they provide good service and unique products they can not compete with large chains
due to
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 investment.
For example
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, D
mart in
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martin
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 rural areas opens their large chains of stores where local shopowners buy goods at discounts and sell them in their shops. The loss of
this
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 business can loss of local connectivity traditions and culture.
To conclude
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, even though small shops are affected by large shopping centres which offer unbeatable experiences in terms of convenience, affordability, and variety,
Therefore
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, they
also
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 create employment and development in rural areas.
thus
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i
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I
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 would like to say it
is
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has
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 a positive impact.

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Task Achievement
The introduction should clearly outline the main points of discussion. It is good that you referred to both the pros and cons, but consider providing a stronger thesis statement that clearly states your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are logically structured. For example, the transition between your points can be improved for better flow, with clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Support your points with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provided examples, they could be more relevant and connected to your argument to enhance your points further.
Task Achievement
You effectively identified both advantages and disadvantages of large shopping malls, showing a balanced view of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position, reinforcing your argument that the trend is positive overall.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • specialized products
  • homogenized
  • local economy
  • circulating
  • variety
  • convenient
  • social hubs
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • energy consumption
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