Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's norm tends to support the idea of
"healthy
Correct article usage
a "healthy
show examples
relationship
Use synonyms
" with their own
pets
Use synonyms
, peacefully residing
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own homes.
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, is a very controversial topic.
Such
Linking Words
healthy
Use synonyms
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
can be considered good in common sense and
logics
Fix the agreement mistake
logic
show examples
yet there might be
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
disadvantages we may fail to see.
For example
Linking Words
, ancient
egyptians
Change the capitalization
Egyptians
show examples
worshipped cats as they were the only animal breed
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
could fight with
Add an article
the snake
show examples
snake
Fix the agreement mistake
snakes
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
cats were considered
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
gods descended from
heavens
Correct article usage
the heavens
show examples
to earth.
This
Linking Words
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the features of religion. It is scientifically proven by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
of Oxford that having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
faith in something
as well as
Linking Words
being emotionally connected to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
being can balance and stabilize emotions.
This
Linking Words
is an extreme case of respecting an animal. Unfortunately, decades after decades, we now see cats and dogs
abondened
Correct your spelling
abandoned
around cities and sewages, desperate to find food and a warm place to spend the night with. Plus, we treat them as lower beings, kicking them, shooing them away and even mass murdering them to prevent
"flood
Correct article usage
a "flood
show examples
of strays in the city".
This
Linking Words
degradation in our aspects towards animals can show how deadly our perspectives can be,
therefore
Linking Words
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to be used in the correct way. In a normal family, treating their
pets
Use synonyms
almost as if it is their family member has been
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
common lately.
This
Linking Words
can have mass benefits
such
Linking Words
as teaching and coaching your toddlers from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age to have love and respect for
Add an article
the animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
, the
pets
Use synonyms
being unable to speak can even
further
Linking Words
show an important message that "Love is be expressed through actions, not only words alone".
This
Linking Words
can be a great character development not only in children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
in human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, highlighting another unique perspective towards life.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
lovely perception can often be misunderstood and swapped by the term "obsession". Having a specific animal breed in your house , feeding, bathing,
taking
Correct word choice
and taking
show examples
care of it 24/7 may leave a significant hole in someone's heart and emotional space meaning once they are gone it can cause a huge emotional breakdown for the pet owner to grieve after their pet's absence. Why? Because they were
inseperable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
and had many memories to cherish
as well as
Linking Words
their connections. Some people who aren't able to handle
this
Linking Words
loss
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
infatuated,
lonely
Correct word choice
and lonely
show examples
and even experience symptoms of major depression.
This
Linking Words
"Unhealthy" obsession may not be the most desirable thing in life. In conclusion, I believe that people should hold healthy and balanced
relaitonship
Correct your spelling
relationships
with their
pets
Use synonyms
regarding their own living circumstances, responsibilities and income matters. To have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
close
relationship
Use synonyms
wiht
Correct your spelling
with
a pet
meaning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
you have to be able to provide them with warm
shelters
Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
show examples
, healthy food, health
check
Fix the agreement mistake
checks
show examples
and most importantly, love from yourself. The best version to implement depends on your own circumstances, without making it extreme to both sides
such
Linking Words
as viewing animals as lowly beings or even worse, worshipping them, other than that healthy
relationship
Use synonyms
with any type of organism would always be the best option.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and covers multiple aspects of the topic, which is great. To improve, ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed and clearly linked back to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You might want to work on the logical flow of your arguments. For instance, use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to signal your main idea at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a more varied sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing. Avoiding repetitive phrases can also make your writing more engaging.
content
Your essay contains a thoughtful exploration of the topic and shows an understanding of both positive and negative aspects of human-animal relationships.
content
You provide historical and scientific references that enrich your argument, showcasing that you have researched the topic well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: