IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

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? In today's world, modern
technology
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 has changed from the past. It is now the most common part of most workplaces. It has made
tasks
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 faster and
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more efficiently
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efficiently
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efficient
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.
While
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 it brings many benefits, it is important to use it carefully to avoid the risks.
This
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 essay will
discus
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discuss
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 how it has changed and what I think about the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of using
this
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 modern
technology
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.
Technology
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 has changed the way
people
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work
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 by making it easier and faster. Computers and machines help in many jobs. Workers don’t have to do everything themselves, because computers can complete it.
People
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 can
also
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 use emails, video calls and
internet
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the internet
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 to do meetings and communicate, even from different places.
Businesses
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 can now save time and focus on more important
work
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.
Moreover
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,
technology
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also
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 enables
businesses
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 to grow and expand faster and provide better customer service. Every invention is a double-edged sword.
On
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In
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 my opinion, I think the main problem with relying too much on modern
technology
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 is that
people
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 may lose their
job
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jobs
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. Modern machines and
technology
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 can do many
tasks
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instead
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 of the workers.
As a result
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, some
businesses
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 may require fewer workers, so many
people
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 may have trouble finding employment.
Technology
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 problems are another issue.
Work
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 may be delayed if the computer stops working, or the internet goes down.
Businesses
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 may lose money and time
as a result
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 of
this
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.
Furthermore
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, it is important to remember that using
technology
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 too much can hinder our ability to tackle
tasks
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 on our own.
While
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technology
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 has
it
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its
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 perks, we need to be careful not to lean on it heavily. In conclusion, modern
technology
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 has made
the
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apply
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work
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 faster and more efficient, and it has helped
people
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 do their
tasks
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 quickly.
However
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, relying on it can cause unemployment and other problems.
In addition
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to
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apply
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, we should use it wisely and not in excessive
way
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ways
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. A good balance between human skills and
technology
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 is important for success and growth.

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structuring
The introduction needs to clearly outline the main points you will cover in a more structured way. It should end with a clear thesis statement that summarizes the essay's direction.
examples
In your body paragraphs, try to provide more specific examples that illustrate your points. For instance, when discussing job loss, you could mention specific industries affected by automation.
coherence
Make sure to connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly for better flow. Using linking words could improve the overall coherence of your essay.
content
The essay presents a clear understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view regarding the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology.
organization
You have a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • software applications
  • high-speed internet
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • geographical boundaries
  • remote work
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • skill gaps
  • job displacement
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • dependency
  • security risks
  • data breaches
  • cyber attacks
What to do next:
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