IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn news. However, others believe that they can learn news better through other medias. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
 read
news
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
 online for free. Printed
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
book
Correct subject-verb agreement
books
show examples
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 important in daily life.
However
Linking Words
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 expensive but they are reliable. I will write about the benefits of online
books
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 still like printed
books
Use synonyms
 and
newspapers
Use synonyms
. Reading on
paper
Use synonyms
 is better for
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
 and does not need the internet 
a
Correct word choice
or a
show examples
battery. Many
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy collecting
books
Use synonyms
 and go to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 and buy
books
Use synonyms
. Reading on
paper
Use synonyms
comfortable
Add a missing verb
is comfortable
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 eyes. Reading
books
Use synonyms
 and
newspapers
Use synonyms
 increases a person's worldview. Future need
books
Use synonyms
 and
newspapers
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 because it's useful.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 going to the library to buy a book takes a lot of time. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer reading online because it is easy and free. They can read
news
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 phone anytime. Online reading
also
Linking Words
 saves money because there is no need
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
 printed
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
.
It's
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
 is environmentally friendly
less
Correct word choice
and less
show examples
paper
Use synonyms
 waste .You can find
books
Use synonyms
 ,
news
Use synonyms
  and articles from
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the world Online
newspapers
Use synonyms
 update instantly
while
Linking Words
 printed  can become outdated. You can follow breaking
news
Use synonyms
 
it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
 happens. No need  to carry heavy
books
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
newspapers
Correct word choice
or newspapers
show examples
. Instant translation tools help understand foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. Reduce
paper
Use synonyms
 use and help save trees . No printing,
transportation
Correct word choice
or transportation
show examples
 waste disposal
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
show examples
. In conclusion, online reading becoming more popular but printed
books
Use synonyms
 and
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will not disappear completely. Some
people
Use synonyms
 will always prefer real
books
Use synonyms
 but I will prefer online reading because online reading
essay
Fix the agreement mistake
essays
show examples
 and free. One can get a lot of information through online reading. Online reading
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 comfortable. Muzaffarov Sarvar.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction would benefit from clearly presenting both sides of the argument, as well as your own opinion. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement to make it clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Using transition words could help.
Task Achievement
You provided a good range of ideas about the benefits of both printed and online media. Your essay addresses the topic well and includes relevant points.
Task Achievement
The examples you used for online reading, such as convenience and environmental benefits, were relevant and helped to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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