IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows how much money was spent on cars in four different countries in Asia.

The line graph below shows how much money was spent on cars in four different countries in Asia.
The line graph illustrates the
amount
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 of
money
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spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 on vehicles in four Asian countries from 1995 till 2005. Those countries are
Thailand
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, Vietnam,
Indoneasia
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Indonesia
 and China, All data is presented in million
USD
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 dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, China spent the highest
amount
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 of
money
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 on cars,
while
Linking Words
 Vietnam has shown an upward trend,
Indonesea
Correct your spelling
Indonesia
 was
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 with
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 spend
amount
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on
Change preposition
of
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money
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 in
automobile
Add an article
the automobile
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 industry. The
amount
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 of
money
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 in
Thailand
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 has
been fluctuated
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fluctuated
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 over that period. Around 80 million
USD
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 were spent on cars in China
initially
Linking Words
, it sharply increased
on
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to
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90USD
Correct your spelling
90 USD
 in 1999. By 2003 it had declined slightly
on
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to
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 approximately 85
USD
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, but it peaked
on
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at
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1000USD
Correct your spelling
1000 USD
 in 2005. Vietnam's population was second who
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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highest
Change the article
the highest
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amount
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 of their finance on automobiles, around 55
USD
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 in 1995 it
graduatelly
Correct your spelling
gradually
 climbed
on
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to
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 70
USD
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 in 2001
,
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apply
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and remained unchanged till 2005
where
Correct word choice
when
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 it increased
over
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to over
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 70
USD
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. From 1999 till 2001,
Indoneasia
Correct your spelling
Indonesia
 was the country which invested at least on cars,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it doubled
on
Change preposition
to
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 60USD in 2003,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
 two years overweighed
Thailand
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 for 10USD . Despite,
Thailand
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showed
Wrong verb form
showing
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fluctuation between 50-60
USD
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 in the first six years, it remained stable till the end of that period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, thailand, usd with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • spending
  • automotive industry
  • trend
  • comparison
  • data representation
  • fluctuation
  • consumer behavior
  • economic growth
  • market demand
  • investment
  • country-specific
  • graph analysis
  • increase/decrease
  • percentage change
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