Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, most industries tended to change their packaging style to eco-friendly as it is harmful to everyone.
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While others
Correct word choice
Others
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argue that customers are responsible
to stop
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for stopping
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that. Personally, I Insist it is
customers
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customers'
customer's
show examples
responsibility to avoid them so that it can bring direct change in supermarkets and manufacturers. I will explain both views with my opinion in the following essay.
Firstly
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, For a few years, eco
products
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came into existence when the
government
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took the initiative to stop packaging foods which is a serious health hazard for living beings. As producers companies always think on the profit side when it is cheaper for them to produce high-micron
plastic
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for less affordability. Nowadays, we can see everything is made up of
plastic
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.
Although
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, some companies have their own recycling units which are approved by the
government
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even more harmful to produce them as
plastic
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is made up of some kind of molecules that generate cancer cells
while
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heating the food.
Secondly
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, consumers have to control
this
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by not choosing
products
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that are not bio-degradable so that companies will stop manufacturing them
as a result
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they can't sell their
products
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. The
Government
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should do some initiative programs to create awareness
such
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that the public can realize how harmful it is.
For example
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, In Thailand The
government
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and common people came together and restricted
plastic
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by doing performances in public places and they advertised on TV with a strong message showcasing how packaging affects the environment and living beings.
Therefore
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, now there are only bio-degradable
products
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available in that country
due to
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shut shutdown of avoidable
plastic
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producers.
To conclude
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, over-packaging should be considered a serious hazard by manufacturers and supermarkets In my point of view customers and The authorities should be more responsible for avoiding harmful
plastic
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such
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that producers of
plastic
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stop extra packaging on the
products
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in your introduction, and summarize them effectively in your conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your example of Thailand is good, more detailed context could enhance your argument.
language use
Vary your sentence structures and improve grammar to enhance clarity.
content
The essay addresses both views, which is a strength in demonstrating an understanding of the issue.
support
The use of a specific example (Thailand) adds weight to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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