Some people believe that for children learning about the local history is more important than knowing the World history. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an ongoing debate about whether teaching
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
local
history
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is more important than knowing
the
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apply
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world
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history
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.
While
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some argue that
this
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is better, others believe it has negative aspects. I strongly disagree with
this
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notion, and
this
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essay will provide reasons to support my view. One of the main reasons why I disagree is that
history
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has relevance to all of the actions in the past.
History
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gets
Verb problem
is
show examples
affected by people, actions, boundaries and nature.
For instance
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,
history
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed when Hitler decided to start a war against
europe
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Europe
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.
Additionally
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,
history
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has changed when Japan faced a hurricane.
Moreover
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, teaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world
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history
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for
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to
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the youth will convey the bigger picture. Giving them
huge
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apply
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information about their countries, people, who are they and what are their achievements. And that gives several sorts of feelings
such
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as being proud, motivated, sad or angry.
In
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On
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the other hand, teaching young people local
history
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will give them a limited point of view. Causing them to be ignorant of the
world
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around them. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, teaching
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
local
history
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is not
important
Rephrase
as important
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as teaching them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world
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history
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.
This
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will be
benificial
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beneficial
for them as we discussed earlier.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a more comprehensive introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding the impact of world history on local understanding.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and stance on the topic, which is important for the task.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important themes regarding history and its relevance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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