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Band 7.5

Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is least important. (Subjects : Literature, sports, mathematics, economics, physics, history, music, geography).

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In recent years, many countries have started to recognize the importance of education and are investing heavily in it. Education provides young people with the skills and knowledge they need to succeed in life. In my opinion, the two most important
subjects
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 for
young
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the young
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 generation are
mathematics
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 and
history
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,
while
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 the least important subject is music.
Mathematics
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 is a fundamental subject that teaches problem-solving, logical thinking, and analytical skills. It is used in many aspects of life, including in careers like engineering, medicine, and technology.
For example
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, an engineer uses math to design buildings and calculate load-bearing capacities, and doctors rely on math when calculating medication dosages for patients. Without a strong foundation in
mathematics
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, young humans may struggle to pursue these career paths.
History
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,
on the other hand
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, helps young individuals understand the world around them by learning about past events and how they have shaped society. By studying
history
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, students can gain a better understanding of different cultures, traditions, and social structures.
This
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 knowledge is crucial for creating informed citizens who can make decisions based on facts.
For instance
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, understanding the causes and effects of wars can help prevent future conflicts by learning from past mistakes.
While
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subjects
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 like literature and economics have their value, music, in my opinion, is less important compared to
subjects
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 like
mathematics
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 and
history
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.
Although
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 music can foster creativity and emotional expression, it does not have the same practical applications as math or the critical understanding that
history
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 provides.
For example
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,
while
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 learning to play an instrument can be rewarding, it doesn’t have the same direct impact on a student’s future career opportunities as mastering
mathematics
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 does. In conclusion,
while
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 all
subjects
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 have value,
mathematics
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 and
history
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 are the most important for young people, as they lay the foundation for both personal and professional success.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the importance of history.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and clearly articulated to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which add value to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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