IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Traffic
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 has become a worse issue nowadays, as four and three-wheelers cause a lot of pollution which is making it hard to live in cities and towns. Because of
this
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, some
people
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 suggest that the
use
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 of private vehicles especially cars should be stopped. In my perspective,
car
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use
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 can not be banned properly
instead
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 of that control of its utilization is mandatory. First of all, there is no doubt that air pollution is a major issue these days, that needs to be controlled wisely. And,
traffic
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 congestion on
roads
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 contributes primarily to the polluting environment.
For instance
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, more vehicles on the
roads
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 mean tough to arrive at the workplace, either a person has to leave home very early or has to avoid using a
car
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, so they can avoid to stuck in
traffic
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. Even, one recent survey showed that individuals have to spend a big part of the day travelling from and to work.
Secondly
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, Some
people
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 work long distances,
that is
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 why, it is not possible for everybody to
use
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 bicycles and sometimes bus services are not available in specific places.
Hence
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, they have to go by their own
car
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. All in all,
car
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use
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 definitely leads to some problems in order to mitigate
this
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, authorities can take strict actions
such
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 as implementing the open road concept. Here are a few steps to tackle
this
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 problem, making more bridges and underground
roads
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 can help to reduce the
traffic
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 congestion problem,
as well as
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, improving public transportation could prove beneficial. Prohibiting excessive
use
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 of cars in the city centre will not only prevent
traffic
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-related issues but it might affect employment as well. Because, a number of
people
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 depend on delivering food, Uber, Lyft and so on.
Thus
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, just focusing on its negative effects is not right.
To conclude
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, government officials can take some steps to improve
this
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 situation by making new open
roads
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, so that,
people
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 can take advantage of using cars.

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task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement clearly outlines your position on the topic. It should clearly indicate whether you agree or disagree with the idea of banning private cars.
coherence
Use more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and create a smooth flow throughout the essay. This will enhance the overall coherence.
content
You have provided some relevant arguments regarding the impact of traffic congestion on daily life, which adds depth to your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emissions
  • Air pollution
  • Global warming
  • Noise pollution
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Public transportation
  • Green spaces
  • Urban residents
  • Enforcing the ban
  • Exceptions
  • Mental well-being
  • Healthier lifestyles
  • Local businesses
  • Tourism
  • Offset the need
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