IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fast food is a part of life in many place. Some people think this has bad effects in lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons

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In today’s fast-paced world, fast
food
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 has become an essential part of many people’s lives.
However
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, it is often argued that
this
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 convenience comes at a high cost, acting as a slow poison that deteriorates human
health
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. I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint and will discuss how fast
food
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 negatively impacts both
health
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 and cultural traditions.
To begin
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 with, the most concerning issue with fast
food
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 is its detrimental effect on
health
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. In modern society, where individuals are constantly juggling work and personal commitments, it is far easier to order
food
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 than to prepare nutritious meals at home.
However
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, fast
food
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 is typically high in trans fats, sugar, and salt — ingredients that contribute to obesity when consumed in excess. Obesity, in turn, is a major risk factor for severe
health
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 problems
such
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 as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. Despite its convenience, the long-term
health
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 consequences are undeniable.
In addition
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 to
health
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 concerns, the rise of fast-
food
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 culture is eroding traditional
food
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 practices.
Due to
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 affordability and ease of access, many people now prefer ordering
food
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 from
take-away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
show examples
 restaurants rather than spending time cooking traditional meals at home.
As a result
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, cultural dishes that once played a significant role in daily life are now reserved for special occasions.
This
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 shift not only weakens family bonds formed through shared cooking experiences but
also
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 leads to the gradual disappearance of cultural heritage. In conclusion,
while
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 fast
food
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 offers convenience in today’s busy world, its negative impact on
health
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 and the loss of cultural traditions cannot be ignored. To maintain a healthy lifestyle and preserve cultural values, individuals should adopt a more balanced approach by prioritizing home-cooked meals and mindful eating habits.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your points about health issues and cultural impacts. This would strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between the arguments in your paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Utilizing linking phrases can help
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You present a strong argument for your viewpoint, making it clear that you agree with the negative effects of fast food.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • culinary culture
  • wholesome meals
  • inherently
  • health consequences
  • nutritional options
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