In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healtier than ever before. However, they are often less happy and more agiatated in actions and behaviors. what do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years,

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation

are tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to be

financially

Correct quantifier usage

more financially

show examples

stable, safe and medically sound than before.

Nevetheless

Correct your spelling

Nevertheless

, they are perturbed and sad. I believe

this

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

and emotional struggles, and the best solution is

lessen

Fix the infinitive

to lessen

show examples

time

Use synonyms

spent at work and foster family bonding.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the youth seems to be

cheerful

Correct quantifier usage

more cheerful

show examples

than in the past decades.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

due to

Linking Words

technological advancements, that increased access to social media

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

and

other form

Change the wording

another form

other forms

show examples

of entertainment.

However

Linking Words

, other factors

such

Linking Words

Change preposition

as employement

show examples

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

conditions

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

fustration

Correct your spelling

frustration

among them. Some

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

often provide longer

weeking

Correct your spelling

working

hours in order to meet up with customer demand and increase productivity.

For instance

Linking Words

, a delivery company with

employee

Correct article usage

an employee

show examples

shortage will force workers to work overtime to avoid delay, and

this

Linking Words

can cause stress, which might lead to burnout and depression.

Additionally

Linking Words

, most younger people are now

equiped

Correct your spelling

equipped

with technical facilities,

such

Linking Words

as computers and mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

This

Linking Words

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

isolation from people, which

in-turn

Correct your spelling

in turn

show examples

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of emotional connection with families and relatives.

For example

Linking Words

, imagine a teenager who recently

puchased

Correct your spelling

purchased

a computer game. He will often spend more

time

Use synonyms

on that gaming device, and

this

Linking Words

might cause parent-child distancing.

As a result

Linking Words

, the youth is prone to loneliness and sadness, alongside

sense

Add an article

a sense

the sense

show examples

of separation.

However

Linking Words

, a solution to

this

Linking Words

problem is to reduce the duration and intensity of working hours. With the help of automation

device

Change the noun form

devices

show examples

such

Linking Words

robortics

Correct your spelling

robotics

and AI

machineries

Change the wording

machinery

types of machinery

pieces of machinery

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a strict

time

Use synonyms

limit on computers and video games should be implemented by the parents, in order to encourage family bonding. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the younger population make more money, alongside maintaining a healthy lifestyle than in the past years, they are often troubled by longer working hours and lack of socialization, and

this

Linking Words

can be mitigated by decreasing the

time

Use synonyms

spent at work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

encouraging socialization. If implemented well,

this

Linking Words

will promote a much healthier and happier generation.

lizzieyohanaWed Mar 26 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively outlines the main points of the essay, but try to make it a bit clearer by rephrasing it for fluency.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure you keep consistent tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'younger generation are tend to be' should be 'younger generations tend to be'.

coherence and cohesion

Clarify your sentences, especially where you mention 'other factors such employement conditions.' Instead, say 'other factors, such as employment conditions.' This will make your writing clearer.

task achievement

Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize key points more clearly.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples that relate to the problems faced by the younger generation, which adds depth to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with clear topic sentences introducing each paragraph.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

319 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

competitive environment
societal expectations
educational pressures
job market competition
pervasive influence
social media
feelings of inadequacy
emotional fulfillment
lack of purpose
real-world connections
community support
digital interactions
mental health support
stress management
emotional resilience
offline activities
community service
outdoor sports
sense of belonging
holistic education
academic achievements
digital literacy
self-esteem
mental well-being

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
The free movement of of goods Across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argues that it is necessary for economic growth, whilst others claim that it damage local industries. Discuss with both views and gove your opinion.
Transitioning the products among countries' boundaries for a long time is and controversial problem. A group of people think that this trend is an important factor that has a positive economic impact. While others believe that it destroyed local businesses. I subscribe to the first idea owing to the fact that this fashion improves the level of goods quality and the economy.
7
band
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do the environment. What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?
People have been using a lot of plastic products such as plastic bags, plastic bottles, and plastic packaging for a couple of decades, In turn, this is resulting in distinct species being extinct dramatically and causing some ecological problems in some parts of the world. Personally, I strongly believe that these issues can be handled to some degree if authorities and individuals take action in close collaboration.
7.5
band
Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
These days, the main trend that is popular among societies is globalization on account of the fact that global communities have access to the same items namely, movies, fashion, brands, commercials, and so on. while a similar world has a lot of benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks.
6
band
It is so difficult for little ordinary people can do to improve the environmental problems today. Therefore, the state leader and big companies should be taking charge of solving the amount of environment damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, environmental problems are developing rapidly. Some people believe that only government and corporations can solve them. I disagree with this opinion, and in this essay, I will discuss why I think this way.
7.5
band
In the modern era, there is a prevailing debate about how young people should allocate their free time—whether more emphasis should be placed on family interactions or outdoor recreation. This essay aims to scrutinize both perspectives, culminating in my balanced standpoint.
The debate over whether the youth should devote a huge amount of leisure time to family events or if they ought to pass the time by doing outdoor activities remains contentious. Some argue that spending time with the family allows youngsters to strengthen their bonds and gain life experience while the opponents of this view claim that outdoor amusements play a crucial role in developing soft skills like teamwork and stress management. This essay will elucidate both viewpoints and offer a personal perspective.

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healtier than ever before. However, they are often less happy and more agiatated in actions and behaviors. what do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

The free movement of of goods Across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argues that it is necessary for economic growth, whilst others claim that it damage local industries. Discuss with both views and gove your opinion.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do the environment. What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

It is so difficult for little ordinary people can do to improve the environmental problems today. Therefore, the state leader and big companies should be taking charge of solving the amount of environment damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, there is a prevailing debate about how young people should allocate their free time—whether more emphasis should be placed on family interactions or outdoor recreation. This essay aims to scrutinize both perspectives, culminating in my balanced standpoint.