Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

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There is a growing concern related to
internet
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usage
,
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apply
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and the diffusion of harmful
content
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through it. Because of
this
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, it is believed that the only solution to
this
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matter would be
having
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to have
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the government
censoring
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censor
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content
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shared on those platforms. In my personal opinion, I consider
internet
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platforms to be really dangerous, especially since their access is free to anyone, even people with bad intentions.
Therefore
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, stricter control should be imposed on that. Nowadays, there is just a slight percentage of people offline; almost everyone has a social media account, and
use
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uses
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it daily. Even young children are allowed to have smartphones
,
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apply
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and have access to
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internet
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the internet
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. They are the main victims and villains, being poisoned by web toxicity. They are too naive to understand the impact their actions have,
therefore
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, they feel as if they
could
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can
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comment
however
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they like, without having to face any
consequence
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consequences
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.
This
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issue is prominent and has developed into
the
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a
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known phenomenon called cyberbullying.
For instance
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, since the beginning of
this
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new technological era, the number of teen suicides has increased, especially because of nasty comments made toward them on
socials
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social
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.
This
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matter is really fond
to
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of
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me
,
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apply
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since I have a
10 years old
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10-year-old
sister, whom I constantly control, terrified of what she might encounter. I keep close track of whatever she does, what app she uses, and what
content
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she sees and shares. Having these concerns, government control could lighten my burden. In conclusion, the
internet
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is a dark space, that can corrupt minds and poison them; children are the main concern because of their young brains. Some sort of regulation is already in use,
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however
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however,
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is not nearly enough. Stricter laws have to be approved to resolve
this
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problem;
also
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, cyber policy should keep a closer track of all
content
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shared on platforms.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and addresses the question well. However, try to develop your arguments further and provide more detailed examples to support your opinions.
coherence
Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help to strengthen your overall argument.
coherence
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary to enhance the written quality of your essay.
task achievement
In your introduction, consider rephrasing your thesis to clearly state the extent of government control you support. This will provide a clearer framework for your essay.
content
You have a strong personal connection to the topic which adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more engaging.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
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