Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

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There is a growing concern related to

internet

Use synonyms

usage

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the diffusion of harmful

content

Use synonyms

through it. Because of

this

Linking Words

, it is believed that the only solution to

this

Linking Words

matter would be

having

Wrong verb form

to have

show examples

the government

censoring

Wrong verb form

censor

show examples

content

Use synonyms

shared on those platforms. In my personal opinion, I consider

internet

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platforms to be really dangerous, especially since their access is free to anyone, even people with bad intentions.

Therefore

Linking Words

, stricter control should be imposed on that. Nowadays, there is just a slight percentage of people offline; almost everyone has a social media account, and

use

Correct subject-verb agreement

uses

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it daily. Even young children are allowed to have smartphones

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and have access to

Use synonyms

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

. They are the main victims and villains, being poisoned by web toxicity. They are too naive to understand the impact their actions have,

therefore

Linking Words

, they feel as if they

could

Wrong verb form

can

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comment

however

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they like, without having to face any

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

This

Linking Words

issue is prominent and has developed into

the

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show examples

known phenomenon called cyberbullying.

For instance

Linking Words

, since the beginning of

this

Linking Words

new technological era, the number of teen suicides has increased, especially because of nasty comments made toward them on

socials

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social

show examples

This

Linking Words

matter is really fond

Change preposition

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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since I have a

10 years old

Correct your spelling

10-year-old

sister, whom I constantly control, terrified of what she might encounter. I keep close track of whatever she does, what app she uses, and what

content

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she sees and shares. Having these concerns, government control could lighten my burden. In conclusion, the

internet

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is a dark space, that can corrupt minds and poison them; children are the main concern because of their young brains. Some sort of regulation is already in use,

Linking Words

however

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however,

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is not nearly enough. Stricter laws have to be approved to resolve

this

Linking Words

problem;

also

Linking Words

, cyber policy should keep a closer track of all

content

Use synonyms

shared on platforms.

anna.marchetti23Thu Mar 27 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and addresses the question well. However, try to develop your arguments further and provide more detailed examples to support your opinions.

coherence

Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help to strengthen your overall argument.

coherence

Consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary to enhance the written quality of your essay.

task achievement

In your introduction, consider rephrasing your thesis to clearly state the extent of government control you support. This will provide a clearer framework for your essay.

content

You have a strong personal connection to the topic which adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more engaging.

coherence

The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Censorship
Freedom of expression
Hate speech
Misinformation
Extremism
Regulations
Cyberbullying
Self-regulation
Transparency
Vulnerable groups
Algorithms
Digital culture
Personal freedoms
Illegal content
Internet safety

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Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

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