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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the level of air pollution in five different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the level of air pollution in five different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 in China, America, Japan, and Australia.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the most polluted
air
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 is in China and America.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most significant amount of harmful gases is caused by
industry
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 and
transport
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,
whereas
Linking Words
electricity
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 generation
influence
Change the verb form
influences
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 the quality of
air
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 the least. Focusing first on the nations with the highest level of
air
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pollution
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,in China, 80
PPM
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 is caused by
industry
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 70
PPM
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 and nearly 60
PPM
Use synonyms
 go from
transport
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 and the production of
electricity
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.
However
Linking Words
, in the USA, the figure for
Use synonyms
industry
Add an article
the industry
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 is 50
PPM
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 lower, which is nearly the same as the level of emissions from
electricity
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 generation, as opposed to
almost
Correct article usage
the almost
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 doubled figure for
transport
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. With regard to the other two countries, in Australia, the figures for all three sources of
pollution
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 roughly 20
PPM
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. As for Japan, the proportions of
air
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pollution
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 from
electricity
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 generation,
transport
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, and
industry
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there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are approximately 20
PPM
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, 30
PPM
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, and 40
PPM
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words air, pollution, industry, transport, electricity, ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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