Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Many manufactured foods and drinks contain excessive amounts of
sugar
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, which can contribute to serious health problems
such
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as obesity and diabetes. It has
therefore
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been suggested that sugary
products
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should be made more expensive to reduce their consumption. I largely agree with
this
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proposal,
although
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higher prices should be combined with education and clearer information about
sugar
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content.
Body paragraph 1
Increasing the price of sugary
products
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could discourage people from purchasing them regularly. If soft drinks, sweets and processed foods become more expensive, customers may choose healthier alternatives
such
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as water, fruit or
products
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containing less
sugar
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.
This
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could be particularly effective for parents who regularly buy food and drinks for their children. Higher prices may
also
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encourage businesses to reduce the amount of
sugar
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in their
products
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. If companies can avoid additional costs by producing healthier goods, they will have a financial reason to introduce new recipes and compete with other manufacturers.
Furthermore
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, money collected through a
sugar
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tax could be used to support public health services or educational campaigns.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, increasing prices alone may not be sufficient. Some people may continue buying sugary
products
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because of their habits, even if they become more expensive. The policy could
also
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have a greater financial effect on low-income families, especially when healthier alternatives are not affordable or widely available.
For
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this
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reason, governments should require manufacturers to display clear information about
sugar
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levels on packaging. Schools and public health
organizations
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organisations
show examples
should
also
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explain the long-term effects of excessive
sugar
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consumption.
In addition
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, the extra charge should be based on the amount of
sugar
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a product contains rather than being applied equally to every product.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I agree that
products
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containing high levels of
sugar
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should be more expensive because
this
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could influence customers’ choices and encourage manufacturers to produce healthier goods.
Nevertheless
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, the policy will be more effective and fair if it is supported by education, clear food labels and affordable alternatives.

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task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same view from start to end. To make the answer even stronger, add one real or clear case, such as how a tax on soft drinks can help people buy water more often.
task response
Your main points are well explained: price can change what people buy, and firms may make food with less sugar. You also give a fair other side. You could say more about how the tax money would be used and why this would help.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each part has one main job: the first gives reasons for the plan, and the next gives limits and other steps. Keep using this clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Your links are clear, with words such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition'. For an even more natural flow, use a few fewer link words where the meaning is already clear.
coherence and cohesion
The end sums up your view well and does not add a new idea. The first paragraph also gives a clear plan for the essay. This helps the reader follow your answer.
task response
Your view is clear: higher prices can help, but they should work with clear food facts, teaching, and low-cost healthy food.
task response
You give useful reasons for both people and firms. The point that firms may cut sugar to avoid extra costs is strong and on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two well planned main parts, and a short end. The ideas move in a logical way.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main idea, and the change from the good side to the limits of the plan is smooth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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