IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Arts play a significant role in communities. In many countries, a specific budget is assigned to
support
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 artists as
this
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 facilitates their work. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the government's financial
support
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 for artists is not a priority,
also
Linking Words
, they see that more citizens need urgent
support
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 rather than the art performers. Others believe it is a must to invest in art and those who perform it for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is positive impact on the
community
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the two different opinions and clarify why I strongly agree with supporting
people
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 working in the art field. On one hand, many sectors in the
community
Use synonyms
 are always in demand for financial
support
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 to maintain providing
people
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic services
such
Linking Words
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 education, transport, and health.
For example
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, utilizing the money to build a school in an urban area is more appreciated by local
people
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 than performing a play in the
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 public
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, others stress the importance of providing artists with the required tools and financial aid, encouraging them not only to be positive influencers but
also
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 creative performers who can deliver the
community
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 culture, suffering, and needs all over the world.
For instance
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, creating a rich supportive
theater
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theatre
show examples
 environment with all the equipment needed for a "poverty play" will attract talented and educated
people
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 to work and think together.
Also
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,
this
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 will encourage the audience to be involved and broaden their awareness. In my opinion, investing in creative
people
Use synonyms
 may lead countries toward more success,
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will give them the space to spot the light on the
community
Use synonyms
's needs and help them to collaborate with the stakeholders to find solutions.

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task achievement
Elaborate more on each viewpoint by providing additional examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects logically to the thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument in favor of supporting artists, showcasing a thoughtful perspective.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction adequately sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government patronage
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • unnecessary expense
  • essential services
  • democratize
  • private patronage
  • market forces
  • innovation
  • boost tourism
  • subjective nature
  • allocated ineffectively
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