IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write

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Multiple college
Use synonyms
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 live with their family during their
study
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 other international
Use synonyms
student
Change the wording
students
show examples
leave
Change the verb form
leaves
show examples
 their
country
Use synonyms
 and family to complete
study
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another
country
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 leaving your family and home
country
Use synonyms
 has a lot of advantages as
this
Linking Words
experience
Use synonyms
 holds a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
Numorus
Correct your spelling
Numerous
 advantages of living away from home during
university
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 and
challanging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 yourself
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the new
experience
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the
students
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 dream about one particular
high standard
Add a hyphen
high-standard
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 and
worked
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
 goal for a long time , but
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 in their
country
Use synonyms
, so they must leave their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 to achieve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 visions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the strong universities in knowledge and
experience
Use synonyms
 are those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 accept multiple international
students
Use synonyms
 with high scores and after multiple
exames
Correct your spelling
exams
,
therefore
Linking Words
 , no
students
Use synonyms
 will miss the
apportiunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to join
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these universities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, learning a new language and culture,
also
Linking Words
 be more
self dependant
Add a hyphen
self-dependant
show examples
 during the
study
Use synonyms
 period . Leaving in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
country
Use synonyms
challanging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 the
student
Use synonyms
 to blend
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the new community , learn the new rules , respect the traditions and
training
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 to be
confidents
Correct your spelling
confident
to live
Change preposition
about living
show examples
 alone .
For example
Linking Words
, Arab
students
Use synonyms
 who want to continue their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
, have to learn English and
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
 high scores
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 English exams ,
As well as
Linking Words
, learn about the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 rules and community which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 different
than
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 Middle
East
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
 countries. The
draw backs
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
show examples
 of
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 and leaving away from the family are
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
show examples
 and financial issues.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 the first few months
during
Change preposition
of
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 will feel that they are missing their families
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 might
affet
Correct your spelling
affect
 their progress , researches show that homesickness is a temporary period
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be treated if the
students
Use synonyms
 make new friends and participate in multiple
activity
Change to a plural noun
activities
show examples
, For economic issues , most of the
student
Use synonyms
 who
decide
Change the verb form
decides
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 far from their parents they have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 scholarship to complete
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 or work on the free hours after finishing the school. For
this
Linking Words
 , the disadvantages of leaving your
country
Use synonyms
 to
contiue
Correct your spelling
continue
 your
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 are temporary and could be solved easily. In conclusion, sometimes
students
Use synonyms
 need to leave their town to achieve their future visions and continue their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
experience
Use synonyms
 has pros and cons,
students
Use synonyms
 will be trained to be dependent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 themselves during
this
Linking Words
 period and learn
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new languages and cultural habits .
While
Linking Words
 some of them
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 money issues or homesickness ,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these problems
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 out
wieght
Correct your spelling
weight
weigh
 the advantages that gained from the
experience
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to clearly outline your main points in the introduction, which can help guide the reader through your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs focus on a single idea or theme, and make explicit links between them to improve flow.
Task Achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures to show greater linguistic range and flexibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors; this can improve clarity significantly.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which is a strong aspect of your argument.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, expressing a view on the benefits of living away from home during university.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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