IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

it is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The question of acquiring knowledge about pre-historic people from
movies
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 are much more effective way in comparison to reading hand-written documentaries, has become a debatable topic.
While
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 both have their own merits, In my opinion, watching series related to conventional topics are most wonderful method to attain deep information. Analyzing the statement and moving
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind prioritising
movies
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 over written documents is the
the
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apply
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convenience and clarity that they offer.
This
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 is because, sometimes written bibliographies do not have in-depth information which distracts the concentration of the learner, and
this
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 aspect is perfectly illustrated in the movie scenes. Another striking benefit in
this
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 regard is that
movies
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 provide the most satisfaction by engaging a person
into
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in
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 imaginative environment.
Furthermore
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, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
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 is that in
this
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 contemporary era, the 3D effects of
movies
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 attract a lot towards opting
the
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for the
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 option of watching rather than reading.
Conversely
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, proving ahead one of the main underlying factors stems from the fact that reading books about cultural lives not only boosts our understanding skills but
also
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 eradicates the necessity of staring at screens. Moving
further
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, it is pertinent to mention that various documentaries are written by renowned authors of past times which provides essential contexts for understanding current events, cultures and conflicts.
Moreover
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, written texts provide clear dates, locations and characters which sometimes become hard to display on screen. Apart from the reasons mentioned
above
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above,
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 many are in favour of being involved in screenplays than participating in reading biographies.
To conclude
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, after analysing the aforementioned arguments, one can reach the conclusion that
although
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 benefits of reading books related to historical periods are too great to negate.
Nevertheless
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, the flexibility and ease that catered by watching
instead
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 cannot be overlooked.

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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic to make it easier for the reader to understand your perspective from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to your main argument. Some points in the second body paragraph could be better connected to your position on why films are superior to books.
Task Response
Try to include more specific examples, such as referencing a particular film or documentary, to illustrate and strengthen your points.
Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced debate on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is used effectively to differentiate between your ideas and arguments, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical events
  • visual representation
  • immerse
  • bring to life
  • accuracy
  • bias
  • limited scope
  • perspective
  • incomplete
  • superficial
  • detailed
  • reliable
  • primary sources
  • firsthand accounts
  • critical analysis
  • interpretation
  • balance
  • comprehensive understanding
  • critical thinking skills
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