Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

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Some argue that
music
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can connect
people
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from different countries and age groups. I totally agree with
this
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view, as
music
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serves as a universal form of communication that surpasses language barriers and depends on emotional expressions and rhythm. In
this
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essay, I will discuss how
music
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brings
people
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together and share my perspectives on its role in encouraging understanding.
Music
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overtakes language and cultural barriers, allowing
people
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to connect emotionally without needing to speak the same language. Melodies and rhythms can express emotions like happiness, sadness, and excitement, which are understood globally. International festivals and events show how artists from distinct nations and cultures unite through
shared
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a shared
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passion.
For example
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,
people
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enjoy foreign songs
such
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as
K-Pop
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K-pop
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or Latin
music
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, even if they cannot totally understand the meaning of the lyrics.
Music
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also
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bridges generational gaps, creating shared experiences and appreciation among age groups. Families often get closer through
music
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, from grandparents sharing traditional
music
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to children offering new genres.
Music
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genres like jazz, classical, or pop may get older over time,
however
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, they stay relevant to different generations. The remixes and changes in
music
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help younger and older generations to enjoy the same melody differently.
To sum up
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,
music
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has the power to connect
people
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from different nations and traditions.
Music
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surpasses any barrier between individuals and connects them emotionally by expressing emotions.
In addition
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,
music
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covers age gaps between generations and helps them to get closer. I think that melody is a unique way of communication, without any boundaries between listeners.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction. While it is implied that you agree with the idea, stating it explicitly can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or experiences to strengthen your arguments. This could help in demonstrating the impact of music across cultures and generations more vividly.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas. This will help improve the coherence of your essay further.
coherence and cohesion
Try to expand on your points a little more, providing additional details or explanations for your main ideas. This can make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your agreement, which sets a good tone for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs that each cover a main idea, which aids in readability.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the emotional connection that music creates, which is a strong point in your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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