Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated.

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There is a view that, some
people
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believe that
Government’s
Correct article usage
the Government’s
show examples
responsibility is
that
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to
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regulate the level of
violence
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in
films
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on television and at the cinema.
While
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others believe that violent scenes should not
be control
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be controlled
show examples
, I strongly agree, that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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should be regulated by government agencies the reason is that after watching these movies,
people
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can
also
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repeat them in their own
lives
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.
On the other hand
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, there are many advantages when
films
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the violent nature of movies seeps into
people
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's
lives
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,
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apply
show examples
like they show their opposition to
violence
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and the conviction that
violence
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is
mistake
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a mistake
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. First of all, these
actions
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can impact them throughout their
lives
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. To be clear, in any movie,
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violence
Replace the word
violent
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actions
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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crucial,
in
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addition
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addition,
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film steps
increases
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increase
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the likelihood of
aggression
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aggressive
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behavior
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behaviour
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for children and adults in
short
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the short
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run.
As a result
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, when
people
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realize how hard and harm to others
lives
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.
In addition
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, It not only causes physical injury or death
,
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apply
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but being exposed to it can
also
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cause emotional and psychological trauma.
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This for
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For
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these reasons,
films
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with
violence
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can be highly atrocious.
On the other hand
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, there are several instances of brutality in movies.
Firstly
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, if
people
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concentrate on film
actions
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with bad intentions, it can
be repeat
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be repeated
show examples
in their
lives
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, like it
effects
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affects
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
their minds and mental health, and they start to replicate themselves or others. To clarify,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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should regulate
about
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apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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film
actions
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and the government should be strict about these acts.
In addition
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,
Violence
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doesn't just affect the immediate victim, it affects their surrounding community, too.
As a result
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, it may end badly.
Therefore
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, for
theses
Correct your spelling
these
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reasons, it can have
significant
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a significant
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impact. In conclusion,
while
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acquiring
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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actions
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in humanity, I strongly disagree
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
, the
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violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
role of
films
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in shaping our
lives
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction; it should clearly state your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and support it with relevant details.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unnecessary repetition of ideas; ensure each point adds value to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance clarity.
task achievement
You expressed a clear opinion on the issue, indicating your stance on regulation.
task achievement
Some good points were raised about the potential impact of violent films.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a defined structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • regulation
  • vulnerable groups
  • age restrictions
  • censorship
  • real-life aggression
  • healthier society
  • creative freedom
  • free speech
  • artistic vision
  • cultural narratives
  • personal responsibility
  • viewing choices
  • balanced approach
  • rating systems
  • parental guidance
What to do next:
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