IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In these
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These
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 days advancement in
technology
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 has
alternate
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alternated
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 the ways of connection among
people
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 there are various changes in interaction
due to
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 high
technology
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such
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 as increased connectivity and ease of
communication
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.
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however
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However
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, it is positive and negative development as well. One obvious effect of
technology
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 on
relationship
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relationships
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 is
convenient
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convenience
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 as it is seen that
due to
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breakthrough
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breakthroughs
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 in
technology
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 especially
internet
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the internet
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,
people
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 can communicate with others
by
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via
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 different social messengers
such
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 as WhatsApp,Instagram and so on by sitting
their
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in their
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 homes at any
time
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, it has become easier for
people
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 to do trading because nowadays
technology
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 has provided the facility of video call or
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face to
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face-to-face
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face
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communication
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 on screens by which various organisations
has
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have
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 become their bond stronger with foreign citizens without travelling there and earn profit which is ultimately fruitful for economy of country.
Furthermore
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,alteration in connection ways
due to
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technology
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 brings positive development for
people
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 because individuals have an opportunity to
broad
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broaden
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 their friend circle by online
communication
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 from anywhere in the world at any
time
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.
However
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,there are detrimental effects of
technology
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 on relationships.First of all,
people
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 have to suffer from
isolation
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 as
people
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 can communicate with their kith and Kins for
certain
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a certain
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time
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 after that they become
isolate
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isolated
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due to
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 lack of
isolation
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 ultimately they suffer from health issues Mainly anxiety and depression.
Moreover
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,
majority
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the majority
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 of young
People
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 spend
their
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apply
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most of
the
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their
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time
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 on mobile screens to communicate with online friends and
deprived
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are deprived
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from
Correct your spelling
of face-to-face
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face
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 to
face
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 interaction
by
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apply
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which they can
also
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suffers
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suffer
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 from stress owing to
isolation
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. In conclusion,
Technology
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 has
fruitful
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been fruitful
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 for
ease
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easy
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communication
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 but it brings negativity in terms of
isolation
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 and stress.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed explanation or exploration of your ideas to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that indicate the main idea you're discussing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and punctuation; it will help in improving clarity and making your points easier to understand.
task achievement
You have identified both positive and negative aspects of technology's impact on relationships.
task achievement
You provided examples of technology use in communication and business, which helps to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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