Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

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Population

Correct article usage

The population

show examples

cities

Use synonyms

is more inclined to commit crimes than that in the countryside. I believe

this

Linking Words

is because, in the

cities

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

use more drugs causing addiction;

as well as

Linking Words

there are more

migrants

Use synonyms

with low income. I suppose

this

Linking Words

issue can be solved if the government addresses the drug problem and reduces the alienation of the new residents. One of the primary reasons why the crime rate is higher in urban

areas

Use synonyms

is drug addiction which leads to committing more crimes. To buy drugs - which are quite expensive -

people

Use synonyms

need money nearly all the time.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they are often unemployed because not many companies hire "long-haired freaky

people

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, they have to get some money in an illegal way which usually means that they will become criminals. In order to prevent

this

Linking Words

, governments should raise

people

Use synonyms

's awareness about illegal substances

as well as

Linking Words

provide more opportunities for an active lifestyle: build more free-of-charge facilities to do sports, and show more commercials about the benefits of being healthy. Another major reason for the higher crime rate in the

cities

Use synonyms

, particularly in metropolitan

areas

Use synonyms

, is that

migrants

Use synonyms

tend to go to big

cities

Use synonyms

in order to find a well-paid job. It is a well-known fact that there are a plethora of better vacancies in urban

areas

Use synonyms

than in rural

areas

Use synonyms

, which leads migration flow to bigger

cities

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the mechanisms of adaptation are not good enough;

migrants

Use synonyms

and their families remain alienated from society, they and their families do not know

official

Add an article

the official

show examples

language well enough to find a decent job.

Consequently

Linking Words

migrants

Use synonyms

desperately try to provide for their families and commit crimes. I think that

this

Linking Words

issue could be tackled if countries improved their policies and developed free language courses for newcomers.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the two main reasons for the higher crime rate in the

cities

Use synonyms

are drug addiction and poor migrant adaptation programmes. I assume that in order to solve

this

Linking Words

problem, government bodies should address these issues.

zoidberg0281Mon Mar 31 2025

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Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the task well by identifying reasons and suggesting solutions, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, try using more varied linking words and phrases for smooth transitions between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Making sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence will better support your main points and improve clarity.

Task Achievement

You present relevant ideas and solutions to the problem effectively, showing a good understanding of the topic and the issues involved.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is generally logical, with clear paragraphs corresponding to specific points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

anonymity
social cohesion
socioeconomic disparities
desperation
urban stressors
mental health
community policing
job opportunities
poverty
inequality
public spaces
surveillance cameras
deterrent
recidivism
reintegration programs

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Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on road and motorways rather than on public transport systems such as railways and trams.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others says that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.