IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The qualities and skills that people require to be successful in today’s world cannot be learned at university or at other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that universities and other academic institutions cannot equip
students
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 with the
qualities
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 necessary for their
success
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 in
life
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.
Nevertheless
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, I think that these
qualities
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 can be admittedly learned at school as long as the student is conscious of self-improvement.
Students
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 can acquire
qualities
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 that are necessary for their
life
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success
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such
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 as
time
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-management and leadership skills through doing assignments at school.
First,
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they can learn how to successfully manage their
time
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 budget by attempting to finish all the homework assigned before the deadline.
Second,
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they can
also
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 better their ability to lead a team thanks to group projects in which they are provided a chance to practice being a leader. After many years,
students
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 are enabled to become better organised with improved leadership abilities so that they can better deal with deadlines and get used to working as a team leader, which increases their chances of promotion at work and
success
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 in
life
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.
However
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, only proactive
students
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 who have a thirst for improvement can make good use of their school
life
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 to equip themselves with the necessary
qualities
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 for their
success
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. When understand that it is necessary for them to enhance their abilities to manage their
time
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as well as
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 lead their team, they will have more motivation to make progress.
However
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, if
students
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 are unaware of how important being adept at organizing their
time
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 is, they tend to procrastinate and fail to meet deadlines, so they can hardly excel at
time
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 management.
Also
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, some of them who avoid taking the role of a leader
due to
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 their passiveness and laziness can ruin their own chance of honing their leadership skills. In conclusion, academic institutions including universities are good places for
students
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 to gain
qualities
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 essential for their successful
life
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.
However
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, only those who are active enough can seize
such
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 opportunities and stand a better chance of future
success
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Consider providing a more nuanced perspective on the argument. While you argue that qualities can be learned at school, acknowledging counterarguments could add depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to your thesis. This can enhance the clarity of your arguments and improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples or case studies to elaborate on your points, which can strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the qualities discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization aids in the readability of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which enhances overall quality.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • emotional intelligence
  • self-awareness
  • interpersonal skills
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • networking
  • negotiation
  • time management
  • practical skills
  • real-world experience
  • academic knowledge
  • career advancement
  • foundational understanding
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