IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the land allocated for
parks
Use synonyms
 in the cities should be used to build additional homes because of the growing population.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
parks
Use synonyms
 should be preserved for as long as possible in order to improve the quality of life in cities. The preservation of the park has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact on human well-being. The most convincing explanation for retaining
parks
Use synonyms
 is that they provide an inspirational and pleasant atmosphere in which individuals exercise and enhance their physical
as well as
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 mental health in today’s lifestyle. Walking and jogging in a natural environment,
for example
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, can combat stress, boost immunity and improve fitness, which would surely lower
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 risks of many diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure.
Furthermore
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,
parks
Use synonyms
 provide a green environment with
pants
Correct your spelling
plants
show examples
 and trees that play an important part in keeping the air fresh and clean
while
Linking Words
also
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 mitigating the detrimental effects of air pollution. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
,
parks
Use synonyms
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 families an excellent opportunity to spend quality time together, which strengthens family relations among them and reflects the quality of life in the community.
For instance
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, many people often visit the
parks
Use synonyms
 with their families and friends to participate in various local events and national holidays.
This
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 can be a venue to meet and engage with other residents in their community
as well as
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 learn more about each other. In conclusion, I absolutely believe that
parks
Use synonyms
 should be retained since they benefit our society by enhancing our physical and psychological health
as well as
Linking Words
 allowing individuals to socialize with others in their neighbourhood.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly elaborate on each point you make, and try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the fluency of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure proper subject-verb agreement and check for minor grammatical errors, as these can affect readability.
Task Achievement
Your arguments regarding the health benefits of parks and their role in community bonding are clear and well-articulated.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
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