IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet has greatly influenced the way people communicate and interact with each other. Some believe it has a negative impact on personal relationships.

The
internet
Use synonyms
 has significantly changed how
people
Use synonyms
 communicate and interact in today's society. Some individuals argue that it ruins personal
relationships
Use synonyms
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because I believe the
internet
Use synonyms
 helps improve communication and allows
people
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
relationships
Add a missing verb
have relationships
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 makes communication faster and more convenient.
People
Use synonyms
 can stay in touch with
friends
Use synonyms
 and family no matter where they live, as long as they have an
internet
Use synonyms
 connection.
This
Linking Words
 is important for those in long-distance
relationships
Use synonyms
 or families who live in different cities or countries.
For example
Linking Words
, a student studying abroad can still talk with their parents every day through video calls, which helps them to maintain a close bond even though they are far away.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the enables
people
Use synonyms
 to make new connections and maintain the old ones.
In
Correct your spelling
The Internet
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 through many social media platforms allows individuals to meet others with similar interests by joining online communities. Other than that, they
also
Linking Words
 can maintain their existing
relationships
Use synonyms
 with those connected on the same social media platforms.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they still can know how their
friends
Use synonyms
 live.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 have met their best
friends
Use synonyms
 or partners through online media,
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, Facebook, and other online forums. These connections often start with small conversations and grow stronger over time even though they are only connected through the
internet
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think the
internet
Use synonyms
 has negative effects on personal
relationships
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe it actually strengthens them. It helps
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate easily and build strong connections with new and old
friends
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly separate your main points with paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one idea with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to show your main argument. You did this well, but it can be stronger.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While you have some good examples, adding a few more can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and explained your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples about communication and relationships through the internet.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: