IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

#today’s #world #science #technology #value #artists #musicians #painters #writers #arts #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is impossible to deny the role of technology in our daily lives, where it has the power to generate its own peace of
art
Use synonyms
 whether it is visual
art
Use synonyms
 or contemporary
art
Use synonyms
. But what is missing in digital
art
Use synonyms
 is emotion, the important key to value an actual artist. An artist is able to provide and create an
art
Use synonyms
 where they express their feeling.
Art
Use synonyms
 is a
way
Use synonyms
 of sharing thoughts that they are not able to express verbally. Feelings of sadness or happiness can easily be understood by reading a book where writers express their emotions through words.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a painter contributes visual
art
Use synonyms
 by using different types of
art
Use synonyms
 techniques. Whether it is painted by a brush or drawn by a pencil, it can present the actual meaning behind its
art
Use synonyms
. New technology can bring comfort to society but it is challenging to touch the feelings, human beings have always been so sensitive to global concerns like wars, political problems and natural disasters.
Art
Use synonyms
 is a
way
Use synonyms
 of bringing attention to these matters. A musician is able to compose a song and dedicate it to a group of people who support the movement. the song can bring unity to people. in conclusion, the development of technology is gradually increasing and it is undeniable to ignore it. Whether we find a
way
Use synonyms
 to make an emotional connection to science it will grow naturally,
However
Linking Words
, the biggest challenge of modern life would be finding a
way
Use synonyms
 to reach people's hearts.
Submitted by kk1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to expand on the examples used to illustrate your points about art's emotional depth, such as providing a specific example of a writer or musician.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph logically flows into the next to improve cohesion. Transitional phrases can help connect ideas clearly.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents a thoughtful perspective on the significance of art in expressing emotions and addressing societal issues.
introduction conclusion present
There is a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly frames the discussion topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: