Learning to play team sports is important part of a childs' education do you agree or disagree give reason for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Playing

team

Use synonyms

activities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

fundamental for youngsters' development in education. I personally believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

friendly competition among

children

Use synonyms

is important. On the one hand,

to create

Change the verb form

creating

show examples

competitive games among

children

Use synonyms

can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their critical and cognitive thinking.

For example

Linking Words

, many research claim that

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

have much energy to learn,

Correct word choice

and at

show examples

the same time they

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

willing to study new things. Through

team

Use synonyms

sports

childs

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

can boost their responsibility,

confidence

Correct word choice

and confidence

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

working as a

team

Use synonyms

may help develop cognitive thinking by solving easy but at the same time vital

decison-making

Correct your spelling

decision-making

puzzles which would be helpful for

Use synonyms

team

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

system

also

Linking Words

Besids

Correct your spelling

Besides

that,

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games help

children

Use synonyms

to find

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

fast

Add an article

a fast

show examples

way which requires many subjects in school,

such

Linking Words

as maths.

Use synonyms

Team

Correct your spelling

Teamwork

show examples

Use synonyms

work

Verb problem

show examples

always helpful in shaping

Correct article usage

show examples

person

Change noun form

person's

show examples

character. Because during matches

children

Use synonyms

can find themselves in

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

atmosphere. Many

children

Use synonyms

nowadays feel shame to speak

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

peers or interact with their teachers and even

such

Linking Words

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games may urge

children

Use synonyms

to connect and

work

Use synonyms

as one person

what

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

could be

start

Correct article usage

a start

show examples

for their

communicating

Replace the word

communication

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, playing

such

Linking Words

sports in

Use synonyms

team

Add an article

the team

a team

show examples

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

way to make friends from other classes

also

Linking Words

To sum up

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that,

Use synonyms

team

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

is crucial for studying,

gaining

Correct word choice

and gaining

show examples

more valuable skills and it helps build collaboration in school.

uluga2002Mon Mar 31 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While you have provided some good points, you could further develop your ideas to make your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. For instance, elaborating on how team sports specifically improve decision-making skills or providing more examples from personal experience could strengthen your response.

coherence and cohesion

The essay would benefit from improved transitions between ideas. Connecting sentences and paragraphs more fluidly would enhance the overall flow of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use proper singular/plural forms. For example, 'childs' should be 'children' and 'youngs' should be 'young people'. This will also enhance your grammatical range and accuracy.

task achievement

You have clearly stated your belief in the importance of teamwork and provided relevant points to support your position.

task achievement

Your writing shows enthusiasm for the topic, which is great and engages the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?
People are mostly inclined to migrate to other countries at present than in the past. It is to say that, for their adaptation to the new place, migrants should leave their own previous lifestyles and ought to follow the local customs and norms. I personally disagree with this viewpoint because cultural behaviour and norms are the identity of one nation and migration should not refrain them from practising it.
6.5
band
Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
The damage to the natural environment increased alongside with the growth of consumer goods production. Product packaging wastes and the unprocessed chemical materials involved in production processes are the main key factors why this issue happened. Government involvement is crucial in solving this issue by establishing sets of regulations to govern the consumer goods industry.
6
band
The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
One school of thought holds that increasing the cost of fuels is the best method for solving the world’s environmental problems. However, in this essay, I will challenge this proposal by showing its limitations as well as other superior solutions.
7
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
There is ongoing discourse about whether limiting working hours with laws is beneficial for employees. Some might argue that it has negative impacts. However, I firmly believe that these laws positively affect the working environment.
7
band
Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The statistics of people's ages in a nation are very crucial as they can decide its future . Nowadays, compared with the number of older people, the sum of people who are in the young category is in the higher account. Therefore, I, remain convinced that the drawbacks would be overshadowed by the merits.

Learning to play team sports is important part of a childs' education do you agree or disagree give reason for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?