IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, machinery has revolutionised the way
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 interact with each other.
This
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 essay will explore the various ways in which machinery has impacted accord and argue that
while
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 there are both benefits and drawbacks to these changes, the
overall
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 effect is largely positive.
Firstly
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,the advent of
technology
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 has provided people with ready access to connect.
For example
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, it allows individuals to maintain
relationships
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 over long distances through social media, video calls, text messaging, and emails, making it possible for loved ones to stay connected regardless of location.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 has expanded social circles, allowing individuals to interact with a more diverse range of people from different cultures and backgrounds.
For instance
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, online communities have emerged, enabling
community
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communities
show examples
 to form accord based on shared interests.
Furthermore
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, online platforms
also
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 provide crucial support networks, offering emotional and practical assistance to those in need.
However
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, it is undeniable that
technology
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 can
also
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 lead to superficial connections, where online interactions lack the depth of face-to-face
relationships
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. In some cases, the convenience of digital communication has reduced the frequency of in-person interactions, potentially weakening social skills.
Moreover
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, the issue of privacy has become a significant concern, as oversharing online can lead to trust issues and data security problems. In conclusion,
technology
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 has changed the way people form and maintain
relationships
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, bringing both advantages and challenges.
While
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 it has enhanced connectivity and broadened social horizons, it has
also
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 introduced the risk of superficiality and privacy issues.
Overall
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, the positive aspects of
technology
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 in fostering
relationships
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 outweigh the negatives, provided that individuals strive to maintain a healthy balance between online and offline interactions.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your main argument in the introduction.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and explanations to support your points, particularly regarding the drawbacks of technology in relationships.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Consider providing a broader perspective on the drawbacks of technology in terms of personal relationships.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
You effectively identify both positive and negative aspects of technology, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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