some people think that the olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. others say the olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
In today modern’s age, the
Olympic
Use synonyms
events
can be understood as an entertaining form in order to bridge the gap between different Use synonyms
nations
. Use synonyms
However
, there are others who hold the opposite that the investment is too waste to spend on the Linking Words
Olympic
games and that people should consider using the money for worthy purposes. From my perspective, I believe that it is useless to hold the Use synonyms
Olympics
and the fund should be invested in better things which are beneficial.
Use synonyms
Initially
, the reason why the community think the Linking Words
Olympics
should be held is Use synonyms
due to
the effectiveness in terms of international diplomacy. Linking Words
In other words
, Linking Words
this
game is organized to enhance the relationship between Linking Words
nations
and thereby boost economic efficiency through tourism or supporting each other in terms of education, and military. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
show brings peace to Linking Words
nations
all over the world and helps people from other countries have an opportunity to communicate and exchange their points of view with others Use synonyms
as well as
comprehend about traditions and cultures of other regions. To exemplify, a survey found that most Linking Words
nations
that take part in the Use synonyms
Olympic
games as a global event have a better relationship than Use synonyms
nations
which do not.
Another point worth considering is the argument of spending pay on holding the Use synonyms
Olympic
games because they believe it is wasting that the Use synonyms
Olympics
is held as the investment could be used for primary demands. It is true that the Use synonyms
Olympics
do not bring clear benefits to the community other than increasing better relationships, but it is only the entertaining Use synonyms
events
or to be blunt, it is useless for human life. Use synonyms
For instance
, the payment spent on these Linking Words
events
could be spent on several issues Use synonyms
such
as education, medical research, food or accommodation problems because it shows practical effectiveness, especially in poor countries and developing countries, holding Linking Words
this
game may be a burden for them Linking Words
due to
the huge expenditure. Linking Words
Hence
, the fund should be considered before being invested in Linking Words
this
game and it is worth being used for better purposes so as to bring benefits to each country.
In conclusion, despite the advantageous element of holding the Linking Words
Olympics
to the closeness of international relations, I strongly believe that the money is wasted and the funds invested in Use synonyms
this
should be used for essential problems Linking Words
such
as health or education rather than wasting them in useless Linking Words
events
Use synonyms
such
as the Linking Words
Olympics
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
You have shown a good understanding of the essay task and presented a clear position. To enhance your score in 'complete response' and 'clear comprehensive ideas', ensure that you discuss both views equally and thoroughly before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence for your points, increasing the score for 'relevant specific examples'.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balanced discussion until you present your opinion. This ensures a comprehensive exploration of the topic, reflecting an unbiased approach before stating your personal view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and coherence. To further enhance it, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using varied linking words can also improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the conclusion to ensure it summarises both views and your opinion, reinforcing the overall argument of the essay.
positive
Effectively bridged the gap between nations and international diplomacy - good use of topic relevance.
positive
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state your stance, providing a good structure.
positive
Successfully integrated some support for main points, which strengthens your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.